【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
翻译家说：“汉译英考试真正考查的是英语写作能力，因为想要把任何复杂的内容写成体面又合理的英文，必须要有足够多的句型和搭配，必须能游刃有余地控制语言。”由此可见，写作是英语综合能力的重要表征。希望本文能帮助大家破解“人人心中有，人人笔下无”的难题，让大家写好英语作文。
第一步：研习句法，杜绝错误
任何场合下，任何类型的写作都不能出现语法错误。这就好像一篇满是病句的高考作文，就算它情感再丰沛，辞藻再优美也拿不到高分。会用而忘用者错，不会而瞎用者错上加错。接下来让我们用两个事例作进一步说明。
第一个例子是某人数学建模竞赛的论文摘要，题目是《航空器座椅弧度与乘客舒适度的关系》：
With increasing development of technology, way of travel become various. A great diversity of
ways could be chosen to going out. Gradually, more and more people have comfortable journey process,
especially for the people who relative more expensive of aircraft. An airline seat curve is rather
important. The optimization for the back of the chair curve, we adopt cubic B-spline cure interpolation,
the design curve in the spine a bone, the two constantly close to the most suitable radius of curve
function F(x) is constructed to represent the error of curvature radius obtained after multiple
interpolation…
如果说英语是一扇门，那么此人在进门前就爬不起来了。很明显，这是按照中文思路写的英语作文。作者的英语能力薄弱，表达力差，写出的文章完全不通顺。更何况摘要应以简洁为要，前两句简直是白费笔墨，意思还有重复。第二个例子来自某学生的毕业论文摘要，题目是《氨催化氧化实验的探究》。
This paper demonstrates sophomore materials ammonia oxidation experiments carried out
exploration in theory expounded catalyst on the catalytic oxidation of ammonia, and the experiment is
improved. Obviously the whole phenomenon of the experiment, easy to operate, the cost of cheap,
pollution reduction, could help students to ammonia oxidation awareness and understanding of this
reaction, but also solve the difficult years of high school chemistry teachers in the successful
implementation of this demonstration experiment of the problem.
首先粗略扫过，有不少高级词汇，词组运用的还可以。但越往后读我就越读不懂，以至于我找不到正确的句子。蹩脚而生硬的表达让我怀疑这是机械翻译。一试，果然如此。再来看我的修改版：
The paper will be followed by an analysis of different catalyst and their effect on the ammonia
oxidation. Several improvements are made to make sure the experiment is cheap, clean and easy to
operate. With proper demonstration, students will certainly make further understanding of the catalyzed
oxidation, which signifies the solution to this long-standing problem.
是不是感觉更加条理，更加清晰？机械翻译是忽略倒装、后置、从句等语法规则的逐词翻译，英语的外壳下，隐藏着中文的内核。请注意，英语和汉语之间并没有完全对等的词汇，同一个词可能指意不同，用法相异。同时，汉语与英语的语言结构不同，逐字翻译必然出现语法错误。汉语思维是英语学习的拦路虎。当你摆脱了中文的影响，英语学起来才不会漏洞百出。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
我们从小学就学过“字词句段篇”，一篇文章由无数的句子组成，而句子由词汇组成。从单词到句子的跨越是写作真正的跨越，而这种跨越依赖于句法。如果你熟练地掌握了句法，那么你就不会“每个词都认识，却根本不知道句子在说什么”，也不会机械地将汉语句子直译为英语。
英语只有两种句子，一种是“什么是什么”，另一种是“什么干什么”。对于第一种句子，无外乎用be 动词表达，即“主系表”；对于第二种则采用实意动词谓语，即“主谓宾”。事实上，任何一个英语句子都同时具备以下五个特征：
1. 句子中的单词有一套标准的顺序；
2. 所有的句子第一个单词的首字母必须大写；
3. 任何一个英语句子都必须表达一个完整的意思；
4. 所有的句子以句号、问号和感叹号结尾，少数情况是分号或冒号；
5. 任何一个英语句子至少包含一个主干分句，即所有的句子至少包含一个主语和一个谓语。
举个例子说明第一点：你既可以说 The dog bit the man. （狗咬了人）也可以说 The man bit the dog. （人咬了狗）但你不能说 Bit the man the dog.（无意义）除此之外，第二点和第四点都好理解。第三点和第五点较为抽象，它们也是汉语与英语的差异所在。
在英语中，任何一个句子只能有一个主语（名词），并一定有谓语（动词）与其对应。主语与谓语的组合称为句子的主干分句（main/independent clause）。主干句不仅在形式上占主导地位，而且必须要表示这句话的中心思想，正所谓“形意双合”。既然已经主干已经确定，其它成分都是辅助性的。在此基础上任何动词的引入都不得抢去主干谓语动词的地位。否则游戏规则被打破，主干也没有任何意义。
因此英语句法规定，在主干之上引入任何其他动词时必须带上关系代词、关系副词或连词等信号词以示区分，最典型的就是that 。以that 为首的信号词告诉读者：“我和我身后的从句谓语动词是来帮忙的，不会喧宾夺主。即便是并列连词，也顶多与主干动词平起平坐。”当然，有些情况下，that 可以省略。
在汉语中，一句话的意思说完了就可以打个句号。英语就不一样，句号的出现不仅宣告完整的意思，还标识着形式的完整。电影的中文字幕从来没有标点，英文字幕没有标点就看不下去的原因正在于此。我们刚才说的第三点和第五点共同控制着英文句子中句号的出现位置。
第五点在形式上控制。只要出现了主干句的主语和谓语动词，无论是否加入其他成分，就必须打句号。第三点在意义上控制。有些主干句虽然主谓宾健全，但“说话大喘气”，人们急于知道后面发生了什么。此类句子表意不全，不能加句号。例如：After /When we ate dinner together… 后面不能加句号作结。
复合句就是主干句和从句的有机结合。其中，主干句本身不需要其他成分就能独立成句，而从句由于形式或意思的残缺，无法独立成句。中文句子常是“形散神不散”，随你表达，中心思想不变即可。而英文则认为“形散则神散”，形式比意义更严格，是一个英文句子正确的先决条件。在绝大部分情况下，英语句子无论多长都只有一个主干，且表达一个完整而主要的意思。 综上，我给大家的建议是：
一、多用以复合句为主的复杂句
目前在国内，除了雅思、托福等考试，凡是英语写作都特别重视，甚至追求形式美。大量使用简单句不仅会暴露作者薄弱的英语底子，还会限制表达效果。同一个意思，用简单句和复合句表达，高下立判。例如，用复合句表达“由于位置偏僻，交通不便和缺乏信息媒介，农村社会保持着与世隔绝的状态”：
The isolation of the rural world, because of distance and the lack of transport facilities, is
compounded by the paucity of the information media.
这个由1个谓语动词，9个名词和5个介词的长句其实只有一个主干：Rural world is compounded. 然后用介词短语表达原因。新手在表述复合句时，先写用“什么是什么”、“什么干什么”出主干，再往里填词是一个不错的方法。如果用简单句表达，恐怕要写成这样：
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
Because there is a great distance and there are not enough transport facilities, the rural world
is isolated. This isolation hay became more serious because there are not enough information
media.
这样一来，就变成结构松散的中式英语了。新手自己写复合句可能很困难，因此我推荐《英语作文
高级句式·第二版》，其中的高级句式是我平时积累而来，拿来背诵是个不错的选择。但是，大规模使用复杂句好不好呢？接下来这篇作文来自于某同学，题目是《There’s no shortcut in study》：
A few days before, I saw a cartoon, in which a student asks his teacher where he can find a
book named How to Do Well in School without Studying. The teacher asks him to find it in the
fiction section.
It’s the nature of study that requires a solid foundation. shatter the whole foundation, For example, students may choose to cheat to acquire a good score. many students are averse to learning by rote, only by rote can one
remember and learn basic knowledge, thus achieving the possibility to further study in the future.
In this case, shortcuts also do not exist.
总的来看这篇文章基本摆脱了中式思维，语义衔接还可以，大量使用复杂句且有些表达可圈可点
（如划线处）。但是缺点也很明显，除去划线句子，你会发现作者的表达很苍白，尤其是shortcut in study 等出现了三四遍。有些地方还有语法错误，读来仍觉生硬。我认为可通过以下方法解决此问题：
1. 把复杂句与短语、词汇搭配使用，绝不仅依赖其中任何一种写作；
2. 文章很短，尽量不要同一个词反复出现，平时积累同义词以便替换；
3. 学习范文的关键在于学习作者给出的观点以及穿插其中的过渡句，然后比着范文摹写。
二、活用常见词汇
有些词汇很简单，以至于很多人熟视无睹，比如与see 有关的搭配可能连见都没见过，更不要说拿
来用了。如see through, see over sth., see about sth., see sb. /sth. out 等。而这些我们认为陌生的表达，母语人士可能在文章中大量运用。外教很可能不用every day 而用 on a daily basis, 不用 in a hurry而用at the drop of hat, 不用He took part in the competition. 而说He entered for the competition. 不说He must be nearly 60 years old. 而说He must be going on for 60. 恰到好处的词语活用所产生的效果有时丝毫不亚于复合句。例如，要表达秋叶满地的场景，下面哪个句子会更好？
1 There are a number of autumn leaves lying on the ground.
2 Dead leaves covered the ground.
答案当然是第二句。Dead 让表达简洁、传神；cover 与lying 一比，不需要a number of 就能表示
数量多。具体到日常写作中，我们要学会用好动词，能用动词代替形容词的时候尽量用动词，比如make something complicated可以直接用complicate something来代替。《经济学人》杂志中也有一个例子：
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
All this helps explain Germans' attitudes towards the euro crisis. German voters are skeptical
of transfers to southern Europe not just because of their fear of inflation or their experience with
After a decade of scant real wage growth, and given the unusually skewed wealth distribution, that
perception is not altogether wrong.
“他在布拉瓦海岸度假”，这句话如果让我们来写的话，我们可能会写出He goes on holiday on the Costa Brava. 但文中直接写成 He holidays on the Costa Brava. 这里直接将holiday 当成动词使用，句子变得简洁有力。在平时写作中不仅要意思正确，语法无误，还要尽量用词精准，表达有力。
注意：这里的搭配指的是在朗文词典中找到的，带有例句说明的搭配，咱们在课堂上学的搭配不一定在此范围内。中学所学的词组，英美人可能80年都不用一次。我们都学过made from 和made of, 还有die from和die of, 两者的辨析简直让人抓狂。直到有一天我看到老外用die of car accident时我直接震惊了，好像人家不太在乎这些细节。2015年有一档纪录片叫《当中国老师遇上英国学生》，很多英国学生接受采访时居然不知道swum 是个单词，翻词典之后才知道这是swim 的过去分词。不同的教学理念导致的教育结果必然不同，这就是不少中国学生出国后还要重学英语的原因。
三、确保“三顺”
老师在点评大家的作文的时候常说：“这句话没有语法问题，但我怎么看怎么别扭。”想要了解这个现象产生的原因，就要给大家介绍语法的两个种类：规定性语法和描述性语法。
规定性语法（prescriptive grammar）明确规定什么正确、什么不正确，主要解决“用的对不对”的问题。违背了这个规则，句子一定是错的。描述性语法（descriptive grammar ）着重于描述和解释语言如何被人类使用，而不是规定语言应当如何使用，主要解决“用的好不好”的问题。例如：However, is the phenomenon worthy of such optimism? 就是一个符合规定性语法，但不符合描述性语法的句子，有点中式英语的意思。结合上下文改成However, can we be optimistic that what has worked in the past will work in the future? 就显得流畅许多。
如果说前两条建议让大家遵守规定性语法，那么本条建议则属于描述性语法的范畴。这里给大家介绍描述性语法的试金石“金三顺”：写起来手顺，看起来眼顺，读起来口顺。小学的时候老师点评作文，总是让被点评人上台高声朗读，因为“能听出看不出的错误，体会看不到的美感”。“金三顺”的应用，既能检验文章，又能培养语感，真是一举两得。
第二步：逻辑清晰，层次分明
经常有同学抱怨“考场上写英语作文感到无从下笔，每次读完题目后头脑一片混乱，而且总是写不清楚”。问题出现在哪些地方呢？我们先来看看文章的评判标准。一般情况下，我们可以通过以下五个标准来衡量一篇文章的优劣：语法是否准确无误、词汇是否准确丰富、论证是否严谨有力、文章是否连贯流畅、观点是否清晰扣题。对大部分人来说，词汇和语法并不是最大的问题，多阅读多练习，假以时日，总可以慢慢掌握。实际上，在英文写作中最让人头疼的往往是后面几项：观点的提出及论证，文字的衔接和耦合。
文章要做到连贯流畅，观点清晰，论证有力，仅仅靠背单词和学语法是不够的，因为它还涉及到一个更深层次的问题：逻辑思维能力。写作活动是一种严密而有序的逻辑思维过程。很多作文中出现的表达混乱，层次不清等问题，往往是写作时逻辑思维混乱导致的。还没想清楚就下笔，写出来的东西自然不会清晰。那我们应该要怎样做，才能提高逻辑思维能力，写出清晰严谨的文章呢？
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
一、注意句子以及段落的逻辑关系
英语是一门逻辑性很强的语言，仔细观察你会发现，英语在遣词造句上遵循着严密的逻辑形式：
用词上要求人称、数、格的一致；句子有严谨的主谓结构，多用关联词语，重视形式的对应和显性衔接。而在语篇中多突出主题句，直线式地展开段落。好文章的句子间和段落间的衔接一定十分出色。文章并不是句子的机械堆砌，而是一个有机整体，句子间存在着严谨的逻辑关系。举个例子：
AIDS seems to follow a pattern of recognizable symptoms. First, after being exposed to the
virus, the AIDS patients tend to complain of a fever, sore throat, sore muscles, and diarrhea. Then
there seems to be a dormant period, which can last for three years or longer. Finally, after this
period, more serious symptoms begin to emerge.
仔细阅读之后会发现，文章中的句子之间在逻辑上环环相扣，每一个都不可或缺。如果句子之间
的衔接没做好，写出来的文章可能会是这样的：
Every summer, I go to traveling with my family or my best friends. When the new term comes,
I will surprisingly find my oral English is much improved. So I firmly believe book is not only the
source of knowledge.
上面的句子虽然没有语法问题，但读起来感觉却很奇怪，为什么？因为句子与句子之间并没有一
个很好的逻辑关系：go to traveling with my family与后面的my oral English is much improved并没有必然联系，逻辑上讲不通。
除了句子的衔接外，段落与段落之间的衔接也非常重要。这一点在《经济学人》上体现得淋漓尽
致，比如文章The weaker sex，段落的结构非常清晰，主题句引领全段，而且段落之间是层层递进。
What can be done? Part of the solution lies in a change in cultural attitudes./ Policymakers
also need to lend a hand, because foolish laws are making the problem worse./ Even more
important than scrapping foolish policies is retooling the educational system, which was designed
in an age when most men worked with their muscles./ More generally, schools need to become
more boy-friendly.
从上面可以看到，要写出逻辑清晰的文章，我们要特别注意句子以及段落的衔接和连贯。这就要
求我们用好连接词和语义承接。在写作中常见的连接词有because, as, while, it, however, therefore, although, similarly, consequently, nevertheless等，它们属于“明连接”。“暗承接”即语义承接，通过上下文之间的承接关系行文，比如通过指示代词、人称代词等指代前一句中出现的内容，或转述、解释前一句的关键词，从而形成自然的承接关系。例如这篇雅思9分作文（选段）：
I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the
computer every day. This they are using the
computer for.
The main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often
electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. The player is usually the “hero” of
the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centered and insensitive to
others.
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
上面的作文片段中，This 用来指代I tend to agree...一整句的内容，连接词because 用来连接从句说明原因，regardless of 后面连接名词性从句做进一步说明。These 用来指代上一句中出现的computer activities ，用定冠词the 修饰的player 和game 则与上一句呼应，指代游戏中的玩家和游戏。
二、有意识地进行逻辑学训练
由于种种原因，我们的中学甚至大学都没有对学生进行系统的逻辑训练，这在一定程度上对写作造成了影响。逻辑学知识的缺失会导致文章语言不通，层次混乱，主题不明。要写出思维严谨，脉络清晰的文章，我们必须掌握基本的逻辑学规律：排中律，同一律，矛盾律。
排中律是指文章的立意要明确，旗帜鲜明，千万不要和稀泥。比如像这样的中心句：
Some people think that students should go to boarding schools instead of living at home. Do
you agree or disagree?
我们应该在文章中明确给出自己的意见：赞同上寄宿学校或者反对，而不是模棱两可，观点不清。 同一律是指在思考过程中，使用的概念或判断必须始终不变，保持同一。这也是文章立意符合要求、语体风格得体的必要条件。比如：
Judging from the current tendency, I am inclined to believe that traditional shopping will
disappear gradually and the reasons are as follows: For one thing, the online shopping can bring
convenience to people's life…For another, the merchandizes in online shops are much cheaper than
that in those real shops because... Everybody tends to choose the online shopping in this case.
读起来是不是感觉有点怪？因为它出现了前后不一致的问题，前半部分给出的论点是传统购物会逐渐消失，后面的论证过程却在说网购的好处，两者失去了同一性，不能衔接。
矛盾律是指文章论述必须首尾相贯，避免出现自相矛盾，跑题离题的现象。比如对于 Asking students to evaluate their teachers is a good idea这样的题目，文章中应该阐述学生评价老师带来的好处，而不应该把阐述重点放在学生评分带来的坏处上。
三、大量阅读，大量思考
事实上，我们不能把一件事说清楚，很多时候并不是语言技巧的问题，而是在于，我们对这件事情不够了解，知识储备不够多。爱因斯坦说：“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough. ” 设想一下，让你写自己最擅长的领域和最不擅长的领域，哪一个更有条理？
没有基本的知识储备，空谈语言技巧和逻辑思维方法无任何意义。清晰的逻辑和有力的论证一定建立在深入了解话题的基础上。正所谓“读书破万卷，下笔如有神”。《经济学人》和《卫报》等刊物篇幅适中，信息量大，所讨论的主题又与考场作文息息相关，非常适合用于考场作文的素材积累。可以留意一下自己对哪些话题最不熟悉，然后想办法通过阅读来积累素材。
除积累素材之外，做一个积极的阅读者也很重要。积极的阅读者在阅读中要学会多次重复，主动思考。一篇外刊文章读一遍是不够的，至少要读上三五遍，在阅读的过程要不断思考：作者的观点是什么，观点是怎样论述的，文章的结构是怎样的，段落之间有哪些联系，有哪些衔接词，让我来写的话，我会怎么写？阅读时多问自己一些这样的问题，并尝试着模仿这些优秀文章，这样才能不断提升。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
第三步：审美修辞，追求地道
严复先生指出翻译的标准是“信、达、雅”。英语写作莫不如此。对大部分人而言，完成求“信”、求“达”的前两步已很厉害了。因此，我打算在第三步中赏析几篇来自《经济学人》的优秀文章。所谓“文无定法”，向母语者学习将进一步丰富我们的词汇，完善我们的思想。
一、细节入手，角度独特
2015年11月13日，巴黎遭遇恐怖袭击。各大媒体对此进行了报道。先看《卫报》社论Darkness fills
the stadium of light in Paris I once knew 《熟悉的灯光弥漫着黑暗》的开头部分，注意划线句子：
Until Friday night, the Stade de France in the northern suburbs of Paris was a cauldron of
dreams. As a schoolgirl in the capital, it was where I watched Zinédine Zidane, the superstar
footballer from the same Algerian background as me, lift the 1998 World Cup in front of a united – the place where suicide bombers exploded devices
直到周五晚上，位于巴黎北郊的法兰西体育场还是梦想的发源地。当年还是学生的我正
是在这里观看了1998年世界杯决赛。那时，与我同样出生于阿尔及利亚的著名球星齐达内
战胜了团结一心的巴西，捧起了大力神杯。齐达内和他的队友们大多来自工人和移民家庭。
决赛当晚，来自各个阶级、拥有不同肤色和信仰的人们怀着无比喜悦的心情见证了这支出身
贫寒的球队将这座辉煌宏伟的体育场变作荣耀与激情的象征。现在，法兰西体育场变成了犯
罪现场——恐怖分子发动了自杀式袭击，爆炸装置致使三人死亡，多人受伤。袭击发生时，
体育场内正在举行法国队与世界冠军德国队的友谊赛。当第一声巨响回荡在首都的上空，这
场法国近年来最为严重的恐怖屠杀被现场直播。（注：Zizou 是齐达内的昵称；Les Bleus意为
“蓝色队”，指法国队）
再看BBC 社论Paris attacks: Could they happen in the UK? 《巴黎遭袭：恐怖袭击会在英国发生吗？》的开头部分：
While the UK has sustained far, far fewer casualties from jihadist violence than France, all of
the available evidence indicates that the terrible events inflicted upon Paris could happen here - and
security chiefs have long planned for that possibility.
虽然英国在巴黎恐怖袭击中蒙受的伤亡非常非常小，但各种能搜集到的证据均证实重创
巴黎的恐怖活动有可能降临英国。安全主管已经为这种可能性做了长远的计划。
作为周刊，《经济学人》也推出了社论How to fight back 《如何反击》。且看开头：
THE assault on Paris by Islamic State on November 13th was an attack on life's innocent
pleasures. The terrorists shot anyone who strayed into their gunsights--ordinary mecs out for a gig,
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sharing a drink, or watching a football friendly. It could have been any big city. It could have been you.
11月13日，伊斯兰国在巴黎发动的恐怖活动是对生命纯真乐趣的袭击。凡在射程之内，
恐怖分子见人就杀——欣赏演出的普通人，聚会喝酒的好朋友，甚至是观看友谊赛的球迷。这本可能发生在任何大城市，受害者本可能是你。
同样是报道骇人听闻的恐怖袭击，《卫报》的社论从记者的个人经历出发，感染力不强，对于灾难的描述也显得中规中矩；BBC 坚持“第零视角”，忙着分析国内安全形势，避免灾难重演，冷冰冰的写作未免有些狭隘；最高明的还是《经济学人》。本文首先强调这次恐怖袭击是对生命纯真乐趣的袭击，任何人都可能成为恐怖袭击的目标。尤其是最后两句话：It could have been any big city. It could have been you. 这告诉人们，恐怖袭击并不仅仅存在于电视和新闻中，下一秒就可能发生在你我身边。第一段只有短短四句话，但它的效果比《卫报》的连篇长句要好很多。
二、对比分析，形象鲜明
《经济学人》中时常用对比手法作开头。如Learning unleashed 《放宽私人办学》
THE Ken Ade Private School is not much to look at. Its classrooms are corrugated tin shacks
scattered through the stinking streets of Makoko, Lagos’s best-known slum, two grades to a room. The windows are glassless; the light sockets without bulbs. The ceiling fans are still. But by mid-morning deafening chants rise above the mess, as teachers lead gingham-clad pupils in educational games and dance. Chalk-boards spell out the A-B-Cs for the day. A smart, two-storey government school looms over its ramshackle private neighbor. Its children sit twiddling their thumbs. The teachers have not shown up.
马科科是拉各斯最著名的贫民窟，坐落在那里的肯埃德私立学校乍一看并不起眼。臭气
熏天的街道上零星分布着一些用瓦楞纸和锡纸搭建的破棚屋，这便是两个年级共用一间的教
室。窗户上没有玻璃，电灯座上也没有灯泡，吊扇静止不动。不过每到早上九十点钟，老师
就会带领着身穿方格花布衣服的小学生做课堂游戏、跳舞，震耳欲聋的歌声便回荡在破败的
教室里。黑板上写着当天要学的英文单词。在这所摇摇欲坠的私立学校的后面，隐约能看见
一所气派的两层楼公立学校。那里的学生坐在教室里玩手指。老师还没有现身。
非洲肯艾德地区的公立学校虽然免费，但教学质量极差。在那里，三分之一的孩子上学四年后仍无法达到基本的阅读水平。能凑齐学费的家长往往会送孩子去私立学校上学，因此才有私人办学的蓬勃兴起。本文巧妙运用对比手法突出公学、私学的反转差异，引起读者思考，吸引读者阅读兴趣。
再有一个生动的事例：Making friends again 《重归于好》
When Barack Obama took his Brazilian counterpart, Dilma Rousseff, for a stroll around the
Martin Luther King memorial on June 29th, the sky over Washington was cloudless. There was no hint, either, of the heavy weather caused by revelations two years ago that American spooks had spied on Ms. Rousseff’s e-mail. She reacted by calling off a state visit, plunging relations into a wintry gloom. Nobody expects that upset to be forgotten, but the rapport between the presidents has warmed.
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
6月29日，当奥巴马携巴西总统罗塞夫在马丁·路德·金雕像附近闲逛时，华盛顿天气晴
朗，万里无云。现场气氛也同样祥和，一点都看不出两年前两国关系交恶的痕迹——当时，
美国情报部门被爆监控罗塞夫的电子邮件，罗塞夫愤而取消对美国的国事访问，两国关系陷
入低谷。没人认为人们能忘记这场风波，不过两位总统的关系确实有所回暖。
罗塞夫出访时，巴西国内经济滞胀，腐败丑闻又让罗塞夫的支持率大幅下跌，她只好将希望寄托在外事上。在奥巴马面前强颜欢笑也就不难理解。本段对比描写让读者真切感受到大国外交的风云变幻，表面风平浪静，实则暗涌湍急。
三、人物风骨，历历在目
首先看《经济学人》怎样评价2016年美国总统大选的热门候选人，集逗比、土豪、疯子、政客于一身的唐纳德·特朗普。且看传记Trump’s America 《特朗普的美国梦》：
“This country is a hellhole. We are going down fast,” says Donald Trump. “We can’t do
anything right. We’re a laughing-stock all over the world. The American dream is dead.” It is a
dismal prospect, but fear not: a solution is at hand. “I went to the Wharton School of Business. I’m,
like, a really smart person,” says Mr. Trump. “It’s very possible”, he once boasted, “that I could be
the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it.”
When Mr. Trump first announced that he was running for president, he was dismissed as a
joke. A wheeler-dealer with lots of experience of reality TV but none whatsoever of elective office
wants to be commander-in-chief? Surely, sophisticates scoffed, no one could want this erratic
tycoon’s fingers anywhere near the nuclear button. But for weeks now he has led the polls for the
Republican nomination, despite saying things that would have torpedoed any normal campaign.
Americans are waking up to the possibility that a man whose hobby is naming things after himself
might —conceivably —be the nominee of the party of Lincoln and Reagan. It is worth spelling out
why that would be a terrible thing. Fortunately, the Donald’s own words provide a useful guide.
“这个国家藏污纳垢。我们正在快速下滑，”唐纳德·特朗普说道：“我们事事不顺，我们
成了全世界的笑柄。美国梦早就死了。”虽说前景黯淡，但别害怕，解决方案近在眼前。“我
在沃顿商学院读过书，我才是真正的聪明人！”特朗普夸下海口：“不是我吹，我可能是第一
个既会挣钱、又会花钱的总统候选人。”
特朗普第一次宣布参与总统竞选时，大家都把这当成了笑话。想想看：一个投机钻营，
只在电视真人秀里如鱼得水，却对选举、官场一无所知的商人要当三军总司令？无疑，不少
见多识广的人嘲笑说：“没人想让这个古怪的大亨把手指伸向核按钮。”尽管特朗普说了些足
够让先前竞选造势打水漂的蠢话，他在党内提名的投票却连续数周遥遥领先。美国人正意识
到，一个喜欢给别人起外号的业余人士很有可能赢得林肯派和里根派的提名。此事的可怕原
因值得阐明。而幸运的是，唐纳德的话为我们提供了有益的指导意见。
特朗普年轻时敢闯敢拼，经营饭店，投资地产，挣得数亿身家；中年不慎投资失败，债台高筑，他缜密周旋，十年磨难东山再起。现在的特朗普，写着畅销图书、走着星光大道、热衷慈善事业。但他嚣张狂妄、恣意妄言的毛病也饱受诟病。《经济学人》从特朗普语录写起，让读者好奇他是否真的有如此能耐。然而，如果直接写《特朗普同志谈治国理政》反而显得死气沉沉，人物访谈就成了一纸传单，没有其特别的价值。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
最后的例子是一封名叫A quiet bell ringing《静铃轻唱》的讣告。2015年10月2日，当代爱尔兰最杰出的剧作家布莱恩•弗莱尔去世，享年86岁。这是怎样的一个人，能让《经济学人》为他刊发讣告？无论是否了解布莱恩，且看开头和结尾的描写就能略知缘由：
If you were to catch Brian Friel in some public house in Derry he might well be joking,
“getting the craic”, his blue pixie’s eyes in his red lumpish face glinting with mischief and fun. On the other hand he might be sitting out of the way, nursing his beer with that look of moroseness that he had, and not inclined to answer questions. For there was a Private Friel, extrovert and witty with his friends, and a Public Friel who wanted to speak only through his plays and would not have slick interviewers define him otherwise: a bleak sort of fella, deadly serious in intent, whose natural state was a deep sense of confusion and ambivalence towards the world.
America was ever the land of liberation for him, the place his characters would leave for as
soon as the potato crop was in. But he knew that, if he went, homesickness for green Ireland would gnaw away at him as surely as at them. Exile was not the answer. There was a strange dignity in staying but wavering, trying to balance emotions that would not be reconciled. Confusion, he insisted, “is not an ignoble condition”.
要是你在德里的某个酒馆看见布赖恩•弗莱尔，他很可能正在讲笑话或者“找乐子”，憨厚
的脸颊微微泛红，精灵般的蓝眼睛闪动着调皮的光芒。另一些时候，你很可能看到他坐在角落里，带着他惯有的阴郁表情，浅酌着手中的啤酒，不愿意回答任何问题。没错，世界上有“两个”布赖恩，朋友间的布赖恩待人开朗，处事机智；而公众见到的布赖恩却相对寡言，只愿通过戏剧发声。这让那些油腔滑调的媒体只得给他这样的描述：这个家伙有些阴沉，处事异常严肃。面对这个世界，他总是感到重重的矛盾，深深的彷徨。（注：craic 出自爱尔兰英语，指美好时光，尤其是友好愉快的交谈）
那些扰人的媒体有时候会建议布赖恩继续留在美国。毕竟，美国是布赖恩心中的自由之
乡，是那个一旦时机成熟，他剧中的角色总会去往的地方。但布赖恩知道，一旦长留美国，他就会像那些角色一样，被乡愁深深折磨，思念起爱尔兰的青翠绿土。离开远非答案，留下亦是光荣。他在家乡踟蹰，努力平衡那些无从调和的情感，当中自有独特的尊严。他说：彷徨“并不可耻”。
描写人物从细节着手并不罕见，运用对比也不算新鲜，真正打动读者的是字里行间流淌的情感。布赖恩一生创作了30部戏剧，水平之高足以让他与贝克特、辛格、奥凯西等大家比肩。他热爱自己的国家，“为爱尔兰之人，发爱尔兰之声”。文章读罢，只得连声哀叹：泰山梁木，溘然长往！
四、科学人文，交相辉映
作为一部面向全球高端人士的杂志，《经济学人》包罗万象。除了任务访谈、社论时评、调查报告之外，还有一些优秀的科普文章。他们的存在，正是科学与人文之美的完美结合。且看Life, the multiverse and everything 《生命，多重宇宙及一切》
Science has remade the world, but scientists are not finished yet.
“I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and
then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” Those words, ascribed to Sir Isaac New ton, might still be spoken, with the appropriate correction for sex, by any scientist today.
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
The discipline of natural science that Newton helped found in the second half of the 17th
century has extended humanity’s horizons to a degree he could scarcely have envisaged. Newton
lived in a world that thought itself 6,000 years old, knew nothing of chemical elements or
disease-causing microbes, believed living creatures could spring spontaneously from mud, hay or
dirty bed-linen, and had only just stopped assuming that the sun (and everything else in the
universe) revolved around the Earth.
Yet even today, deep problems and deeper mysteries remain. Science cannot yet say how life
began or whether the universe is but one of many. Some things people take for granted—that time
goes forwards but never backwards, say—are profoundly weird. Other mysteries, no less strange,
are not even perceived. One is that 96% of the universe’s contents pass ghostlike and unnoticed
through the minuscule remaining fraction, which solipsistic humans are pleased to call “ordinary
matter”. Another is how, after billions of years when the Earth was inhabited only by single-celled
creatures, animals suddenly popped into existence. Perhaps the deepest mystery of all is how atoms
in human brains can consciously perceive the desire to ask all of these questions in the first place,
and then move other atoms around to answer them.
Bacteria and brontosaurus. Oxygen and octane. Quarks and quasars. All are the offspring of
Newton’s child. Moreover, it is the manipulation of nature which science permits that has brought
today’s unprecedented plenty and prosperity. Most of all, though, science has brought
self-knowledge, for it has put humans in their place in two contradictory ways. It has dethroned
them as the center of the universe, by showing that mankind is a Johnny-come-lately, living on a
tiny planet orbiting an ordinary star in an unremarkable galaxy that is, itself, one of more than 150
billion such galaxies. But it has also enthroned humanity, revealing the extraordinary nature of the
universe’s inner workings in ways that Newton’s contemporaries were only beginning to glimpse.
Simultaneously demoted and exalted by science in this unprecedented era of discovery, Homo
sapiens still has oceans to survey.
科学春风吹满地，同志仍需再努力——题记
“我像是个在海滨玩耍的孩子，为时而拾到的莹洁石子和美丽贝壳而欢欣。那浩瀚的真
理海洋仍展现在我的面前。”只要在必要时修正一下主语性别，艾萨克·牛顿的这句名言也许
仍可代表当今所有科学家的心声。
17世纪后半叶，自然科学在牛顿的推动下创立，至今已将人类的眼界拓展到连牛顿本人
也难以预料的程度。在牛顿生活的年代，人们认为世界只有6000年历史，对化学元素和致
病微生物一无所知，还以为生物是从自己烂泥干草或者邋遢床单里产生的，甚至才刚刚知道
原来太阳（和宇宙中其他一切）不是绕地球转的。
然而，即使是今天，难题和奥秘也并未全部解开。科学依然不能解释生命是如何诞生、
我们所在的宇宙是否只是多重宇宙之一等问题。一些人们习以为常的观念——比如时间一去
不复返——仔细想来却十分古怪。还有些问题同样古怪，人们甚至难以察觉：一是宇宙的构
成中有96%人们从未留意，就如幽灵一般，以体积极小的物质形式存在（唯我论者会高兴地
称其为“普通物质”）；二是在地球被单细胞生物一统天下数十亿年后，动物是如何突然出现
的；而最深奥的谜题也许在于，人类脑中的微粒是如何有意识地感知到发问的渴望，然后用
另一些微粒做出回答。
不论是细菌还是雷龙，不论是氧气还是辛烷，不论是夸克还是类星体，这一切，皆是牛
顿的继承者们种出的累累果实。除了让这些新发现成为可能之外，科学更为重要的意义在于
让人类了解并把握自然，当今世界才因此实现前所未有的富足与繁荣。最重要的是，科学通
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
过两种截然相反的方式让人类认清了自我。科学让人类心生谦逊，让我们意识到人类远不是
宇宙的中心，我们历史短暂，居住于一颗渺小的行星，环绕着一颗普通恒星，隶属于1500
亿多个星系中微不足道的一个；科学又让人类意气风发：宇宙运行规律的庐山真面目正逐渐
显现，相比之下，牛顿时代的水平只是初出茅庐罢了。在这个科学既让我们谦卑又给我们荣
耀的时代里，在这个前所未有的探索纪元中，仍有未知的领域等待着人类探索。
看完此段，我被作者渊博的知识，灵活驾驭语言的能力和独到的写作角度所深深震撼。第一段“更改性别”的梗无端戳中了我的笑点；第二段和第四段的描写让人连声喝彩。人人都能想到牛顿的名言，但谁能想到借牛顿发力描写科技发展的日新月异？就算想到，又有谁能把牛顿时代的科技水平描绘的有声有色？人人都会知道“科学是把双刃剑”，但大多数人只会用“要合理而辩证的运用科学”而草草作结。但作者却从“科学使人谦卑”、“科学给人荣耀”两方面分析，真乃神来之笔。西方人写作历来有“东一锤子西一棒”的特点，卫星和地铁一起跑，火箭与异形并肩飞。这篇文章就有这种异想天开的奇妙气质。最后一段第一句运用押头韵（alliteration ），每对单词互不关联，但开头类似，结尾近同。合辙押韵，不失文风。此处应当有掌声！
后记
本文写作只用了三天，但搜集材料却贯穿整个寒假。写作是英语学习的基本功，上述文字是我个人经验的一点总结，希望对大家有帮助。在本文创作过程中受到知名学者魏剑锋的启迪，在这里表示感谢。
《经济学人》的很多文章用词考究，手法精当，内容丰富，除了选取的这几篇，我还喜欢报道中国应对金融危机的T he Great Fall of China 《中国跌跌不休》；关注欧洲难民潮的Exodus 《出叙利亚记》；关注新兴市场的The two Mexicos 《双面墨西哥》；介绍屠呦呦与诺贝尔的Wisdom, ancient and modern 《古代与现代的智慧》；当然还有李克强总理的力作China's economic blueprint 《中国经济蓝图》。最让我动容的三篇文章是关注中国老龄化社会的The kin and I 《亲属与我》以及调查中国农村留守儿童现状的Little match children 《卖火柴的小孩子》与Pity the children 《同情留守儿童》。很难想象一个西方媒体能相对公允地调查分析中国的社会现象，因此三篇文章的深度和力度与中国媒体不相上下。仅从题目上看，这些文章或化用《圣经》名篇，或改变童话故事，或使用暗喻修辞，美感之余还简洁明快，值得细细品读。不过“旁观者”也有抹黑中国的时候，比如报道天津港8.12事件的Inferno 《熊熊大火》认为中国是“独裁国家”就让我很不爽。总之，《经济学人》是个提升阅读与写作能力的宝库，善加利用好处多多。
附录是我参加“21世纪杯”英语演讲比赛的讲稿，他们是在导师、外教和我的共同努力下完成的。虽然还达不到第三步的水平，但完成前两步还是有把握的。这篇文章写的好不好，好在哪里，对各位看官英语写作能力的提高有何帮助？这些就当是思考题吧。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
附录：2015年“21世纪杯”全国英语演讲比赛山东省冠军王浩然讲稿
Two Cheers for “Made in China”
While globalization turns China into the “world’s factory”, the world has witnessed China's progress. 1 in 5 air conditioners in the world is made in China and Chinese clothing takes up 68% of Korean import. Thanks to the reform and opening-up policy, Chinese domestic economy developed considerably in recent decades, which has brought its people an improving living standard and been a source of great pride.
However, is the phenomenon worthy of such optimism? I am afraid not. From each iPhone produced, China owns only 1.8% of its profits. Meanwhile, toxic foods and recalling incidents are not uncommon in the media. And instead of shopping domestically, Chinese citizens flock to Japan to purchase high-end products of light industry from toilet seats to electric cookers. Thus we can see: the existing low-cost, labor-oriented production not only brings great damage to the environment, but also interferes with inte grated development of our homeland. As far as I am concerned, we don’t have to cheer for ‘Made in China’. Instead, we should feel pity for it.
We once had faith in the philosophy of “getting rich matters most” and more or less ignored the huge price we had to pay. But, ironically, it was not long before we saw our great achievements were also leading to our backward developments. Truth be told, China specializes in producing all kinds of entry-level products, which undoubtedly makes intellectual property rights the Achilles’ heel of Chinese manufacturing. To reverse the situation, it is high time we transformed products from ‘made in China’ to ‘created in China’.
Firstly, national brand is the master card of any domestic company. Lenovo is one of the world’s largest producers of personal computers. The new-concept products it produces have made Lenovo worldwide famous. Another example goes to the Huawei Technology, whose reputation was earned by its incomparable contribution to the global information industry. Its brand has become one of the most sparkling business cards of China.
The second strategy lies in the innovation of technology. Obsolete modes of production are a high risk factor to both company staff and the environment. In the span-new epoch when technologies develop by leaps and bounds, it is through innovation that we assume leadership in the global market, just as what China has achieved in high-speed railway and space exploration.
Finally, an efficient administrative system is crucial to the shift of the production mode as well. It will lead to advanced labor distribution and well-balanced capital circulation. Haier Group turned itself into a limited liability company in 1993. Thanks to the transformation, the enterprise consolidated its core competence and became a potential competitor of the Fortune 500.
Ladies and gentlemen, I firmly believe that China will get a strong foothold in the global arena. When the moment arrives that millions of products are labeled ‘created in China’, we will cheer for what is truly ours. Thank you.
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
翻译家说：“汉译英考试真正考查的是英语写作能力，因为想要把任何复杂的内容写成体面又合理的英文，必须要有足够多的句型和搭配，必须能游刃有余地控制语言。”由此可见，写作是英语综合能力的重要表征。希望本文能帮助大家破解“人人心中有，人人笔下无”的难题，让大家写好英语作文。
第一步：研习句法，杜绝错误
任何场合下，任何类型的写作都不能出现语法错误。这就好像一篇满是病句的高考作文，就算它情感再丰沛，辞藻再优美也拿不到高分。会用而忘用者错，不会而瞎用者错上加错。接下来让我们用两个事例作进一步说明。
第一个例子是某人数学建模竞赛的论文摘要，题目是《航空器座椅弧度与乘客舒适度的关系》：
With increasing development of technology, way of travel become various. A great diversity of
ways could be chosen to going out. Gradually, more and more people have comfortable journey process,
especially for the people who relative more expensive of aircraft. An airline seat curve is rather
important. The optimization for the back of the chair curve, we adopt cubic B-spline cure interpolation,
the design curve in the spine a bone, the two constantly close to the most suitable radius of curve
function F(x) is constructed to represent the error of curvature radius obtained after multiple
interpolation…
如果说英语是一扇门，那么此人在进门前就爬不起来了。很明显，这是按照中文思路写的英语作文。作者的英语能力薄弱，表达力差，写出的文章完全不通顺。更何况摘要应以简洁为要，前两句简直是白费笔墨，意思还有重复。第二个例子来自某学生的毕业论文摘要，题目是《氨催化氧化实验的探究》。
This paper demonstrates sophomore materials ammonia oxidation experiments carried out
exploration in theory expounded catalyst on the catalytic oxidation of ammonia, and the experiment is
improved. Obviously the whole phenomenon of the experiment, easy to operate, the cost of cheap,
pollution reduction, could help students to ammonia oxidation awareness and understanding of this
reaction, but also solve the difficult years of high school chemistry teachers in the successful
implementation of this demonstration experiment of the problem.
首先粗略扫过，有不少高级词汇，词组运用的还可以。但越往后读我就越读不懂，以至于我找不到正确的句子。蹩脚而生硬的表达让我怀疑这是机械翻译。一试，果然如此。再来看我的修改版：
The paper will be followed by an analysis of different catalyst and their effect on the ammonia
oxidation. Several improvements are made to make sure the experiment is cheap, clean and easy to
operate. With proper demonstration, students will certainly make further understanding of the catalyzed
oxidation, which signifies the solution to this long-standing problem.
是不是感觉更加条理，更加清晰？机械翻译是忽略倒装、后置、从句等语法规则的逐词翻译，英语的外壳下，隐藏着中文的内核。请注意，英语和汉语之间并没有完全对等的词汇，同一个词可能指意不同，用法相异。同时，汉语与英语的语言结构不同，逐字翻译必然出现语法错误。汉语思维是英语学习的拦路虎。当你摆脱了中文的影响，英语学起来才不会漏洞百出。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
我们从小学就学过“字词句段篇”，一篇文章由无数的句子组成，而句子由词汇组成。从单词到句子的跨越是写作真正的跨越，而这种跨越依赖于句法。如果你熟练地掌握了句法，那么你就不会“每个词都认识，却根本不知道句子在说什么”，也不会机械地将汉语句子直译为英语。
英语只有两种句子，一种是“什么是什么”，另一种是“什么干什么”。对于第一种句子，无外乎用be 动词表达，即“主系表”；对于第二种则采用实意动词谓语，即“主谓宾”。事实上，任何一个英语句子都同时具备以下五个特征：
1. 句子中的单词有一套标准的顺序；
2. 所有的句子第一个单词的首字母必须大写；
3. 任何一个英语句子都必须表达一个完整的意思；
4. 所有的句子以句号、问号和感叹号结尾，少数情况是分号或冒号；
5. 任何一个英语句子至少包含一个主干分句，即所有的句子至少包含一个主语和一个谓语。
举个例子说明第一点：你既可以说 The dog bit the man. （狗咬了人）也可以说 The man bit the dog. （人咬了狗）但你不能说 Bit the man the dog.（无意义）除此之外，第二点和第四点都好理解。第三点和第五点较为抽象，它们也是汉语与英语的差异所在。
在英语中，任何一个句子只能有一个主语（名词），并一定有谓语（动词）与其对应。主语与谓语的组合称为句子的主干分句（main/independent clause）。主干句不仅在形式上占主导地位，而且必须要表示这句话的中心思想，正所谓“形意双合”。既然已经主干已经确定，其它成分都是辅助性的。在此基础上任何动词的引入都不得抢去主干谓语动词的地位。否则游戏规则被打破，主干也没有任何意义。
因此英语句法规定，在主干之上引入任何其他动词时必须带上关系代词、关系副词或连词等信号词以示区分，最典型的就是that 。以that 为首的信号词告诉读者：“我和我身后的从句谓语动词是来帮忙的，不会喧宾夺主。即便是并列连词，也顶多与主干动词平起平坐。”当然，有些情况下，that 可以省略。
在汉语中，一句话的意思说完了就可以打个句号。英语就不一样，句号的出现不仅宣告完整的意思，还标识着形式的完整。电影的中文字幕从来没有标点，英文字幕没有标点就看不下去的原因正在于此。我们刚才说的第三点和第五点共同控制着英文句子中句号的出现位置。
第五点在形式上控制。只要出现了主干句的主语和谓语动词，无论是否加入其他成分，就必须打句号。第三点在意义上控制。有些主干句虽然主谓宾健全，但“说话大喘气”，人们急于知道后面发生了什么。此类句子表意不全，不能加句号。例如：After /When we ate dinner together… 后面不能加句号作结。
复合句就是主干句和从句的有机结合。其中，主干句本身不需要其他成分就能独立成句，而从句由于形式或意思的残缺，无法独立成句。中文句子常是“形散神不散”，随你表达，中心思想不变即可。而英文则认为“形散则神散”，形式比意义更严格，是一个英文句子正确的先决条件。在绝大部分情况下，英语句子无论多长都只有一个主干，且表达一个完整而主要的意思。 综上，我给大家的建议是：
一、多用以复合句为主的复杂句
目前在国内，除了雅思、托福等考试，凡是英语写作都特别重视，甚至追求形式美。大量使用简单句不仅会暴露作者薄弱的英语底子，还会限制表达效果。同一个意思，用简单句和复合句表达，高下立判。例如，用复合句表达“由于位置偏僻，交通不便和缺乏信息媒介，农村社会保持着与世隔绝的状态”：
The isolation of the rural world, because of distance and the lack of transport facilities, is
compounded by the paucity of the information media.
这个由1个谓语动词，9个名词和5个介词的长句其实只有一个主干：Rural world is compounded. 然后用介词短语表达原因。新手在表述复合句时，先写用“什么是什么”、“什么干什么”出主干，再往里填词是一个不错的方法。如果用简单句表达，恐怕要写成这样：
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
Because there is a great distance and there are not enough transport facilities, the rural world
is isolated. This isolation hay became more serious because there are not enough information
media.
这样一来，就变成结构松散的中式英语了。新手自己写复合句可能很困难，因此我推荐《英语作文
高级句式·第二版》，其中的高级句式是我平时积累而来，拿来背诵是个不错的选择。但是，大规模使用复杂句好不好呢？接下来这篇作文来自于某同学，题目是《There’s no shortcut in study》：
A few days before, I saw a cartoon, in which a student asks his teacher where he can find a
book named How to Do Well in School without Studying. The teacher asks him to find it in the
fiction section.
It’s the nature of study that requires a solid foundation. shatter the whole foundation, For example, students may choose to cheat to acquire a good score. many students are averse to learning by rote, only by rote can one
remember and learn basic knowledge, thus achieving the possibility to further study in the future.
In this case, shortcuts also do not exist.
总的来看这篇文章基本摆脱了中式思维，语义衔接还可以，大量使用复杂句且有些表达可圈可点
（如划线处）。但是缺点也很明显，除去划线句子，你会发现作者的表达很苍白，尤其是shortcut in study 等出现了三四遍。有些地方还有语法错误，读来仍觉生硬。我认为可通过以下方法解决此问题：
1. 把复杂句与短语、词汇搭配使用，绝不仅依赖其中任何一种写作；
2. 文章很短，尽量不要同一个词反复出现，平时积累同义词以便替换；
3. 学习范文的关键在于学习作者给出的观点以及穿插其中的过渡句，然后比着范文摹写。
二、活用常见词汇
有些词汇很简单，以至于很多人熟视无睹，比如与see 有关的搭配可能连见都没见过，更不要说拿
来用了。如see through, see over sth., see about sth., see sb. /sth. out 等。而这些我们认为陌生的表达，母语人士可能在文章中大量运用。外教很可能不用every day 而用 on a daily basis, 不用 in a hurry而用at the drop of hat, 不用He took part in the competition. 而说He entered for the competition. 不说He must be nearly 60 years old. 而说He must be going on for 60. 恰到好处的词语活用所产生的效果有时丝毫不亚于复合句。例如，要表达秋叶满地的场景，下面哪个句子会更好？
1 There are a number of autumn leaves lying on the ground.
2 Dead leaves covered the ground.
答案当然是第二句。Dead 让表达简洁、传神；cover 与lying 一比，不需要a number of 就能表示
数量多。具体到日常写作中，我们要学会用好动词，能用动词代替形容词的时候尽量用动词，比如make something complicated可以直接用complicate something来代替。《经济学人》杂志中也有一个例子：
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
All this helps explain Germans' attitudes towards the euro crisis. German voters are skeptical
of transfers to southern Europe not just because of their fear of inflation or their experience with
After a decade of scant real wage growth, and given the unusually skewed wealth distribution, that
perception is not altogether wrong.
“他在布拉瓦海岸度假”，这句话如果让我们来写的话，我们可能会写出He goes on holiday on the Costa Brava. 但文中直接写成 He holidays on the Costa Brava. 这里直接将holiday 当成动词使用，句子变得简洁有力。在平时写作中不仅要意思正确，语法无误，还要尽量用词精准，表达有力。
注意：这里的搭配指的是在朗文词典中找到的，带有例句说明的搭配，咱们在课堂上学的搭配不一定在此范围内。中学所学的词组，英美人可能80年都不用一次。我们都学过made from 和made of, 还有die from和die of, 两者的辨析简直让人抓狂。直到有一天我看到老外用die of car accident时我直接震惊了，好像人家不太在乎这些细节。2015年有一档纪录片叫《当中国老师遇上英国学生》，很多英国学生接受采访时居然不知道swum 是个单词，翻词典之后才知道这是swim 的过去分词。不同的教学理念导致的教育结果必然不同，这就是不少中国学生出国后还要重学英语的原因。
三、确保“三顺”
老师在点评大家的作文的时候常说：“这句话没有语法问题，但我怎么看怎么别扭。”想要了解这个现象产生的原因，就要给大家介绍语法的两个种类：规定性语法和描述性语法。
规定性语法（prescriptive grammar）明确规定什么正确、什么不正确，主要解决“用的对不对”的问题。违背了这个规则，句子一定是错的。描述性语法（descriptive grammar ）着重于描述和解释语言如何被人类使用，而不是规定语言应当如何使用，主要解决“用的好不好”的问题。例如：However, is the phenomenon worthy of such optimism? 就是一个符合规定性语法，但不符合描述性语法的句子，有点中式英语的意思。结合上下文改成However, can we be optimistic that what has worked in the past will work in the future? 就显得流畅许多。
如果说前两条建议让大家遵守规定性语法，那么本条建议则属于描述性语法的范畴。这里给大家介绍描述性语法的试金石“金三顺”：写起来手顺，看起来眼顺，读起来口顺。小学的时候老师点评作文，总是让被点评人上台高声朗读，因为“能听出看不出的错误，体会看不到的美感”。“金三顺”的应用，既能检验文章，又能培养语感，真是一举两得。
第二步：逻辑清晰，层次分明
经常有同学抱怨“考场上写英语作文感到无从下笔，每次读完题目后头脑一片混乱，而且总是写不清楚”。问题出现在哪些地方呢？我们先来看看文章的评判标准。一般情况下，我们可以通过以下五个标准来衡量一篇文章的优劣：语法是否准确无误、词汇是否准确丰富、论证是否严谨有力、文章是否连贯流畅、观点是否清晰扣题。对大部分人来说，词汇和语法并不是最大的问题，多阅读多练习，假以时日，总可以慢慢掌握。实际上，在英文写作中最让人头疼的往往是后面几项：观点的提出及论证，文字的衔接和耦合。
文章要做到连贯流畅，观点清晰，论证有力，仅仅靠背单词和学语法是不够的，因为它还涉及到一个更深层次的问题：逻辑思维能力。写作活动是一种严密而有序的逻辑思维过程。很多作文中出现的表达混乱，层次不清等问题，往往是写作时逻辑思维混乱导致的。还没想清楚就下笔，写出来的东西自然不会清晰。那我们应该要怎样做，才能提高逻辑思维能力，写出清晰严谨的文章呢？
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
一、注意句子以及段落的逻辑关系
英语是一门逻辑性很强的语言，仔细观察你会发现，英语在遣词造句上遵循着严密的逻辑形式：
用词上要求人称、数、格的一致；句子有严谨的主谓结构，多用关联词语，重视形式的对应和显性衔接。而在语篇中多突出主题句，直线式地展开段落。好文章的句子间和段落间的衔接一定十分出色。文章并不是句子的机械堆砌，而是一个有机整体，句子间存在着严谨的逻辑关系。举个例子：
AIDS seems to follow a pattern of recognizable symptoms. First, after being exposed to the
virus, the AIDS patients tend to complain of a fever, sore throat, sore muscles, and diarrhea. Then
there seems to be a dormant period, which can last for three years or longer. Finally, after this
period, more serious symptoms begin to emerge.
仔细阅读之后会发现，文章中的句子之间在逻辑上环环相扣，每一个都不可或缺。如果句子之间
的衔接没做好，写出来的文章可能会是这样的：
Every summer, I go to traveling with my family or my best friends. When the new term comes,
I will surprisingly find my oral English is much improved. So I firmly believe book is not only the
source of knowledge.
上面的句子虽然没有语法问题，但读起来感觉却很奇怪，为什么？因为句子与句子之间并没有一
个很好的逻辑关系：go to traveling with my family与后面的my oral English is much improved并没有必然联系，逻辑上讲不通。
除了句子的衔接外，段落与段落之间的衔接也非常重要。这一点在《经济学人》上体现得淋漓尽
致，比如文章The weaker sex，段落的结构非常清晰，主题句引领全段，而且段落之间是层层递进。
What can be done? Part of the solution lies in a change in cultural attitudes./ Policymakers
also need to lend a hand, because foolish laws are making the problem worse./ Even more
important than scrapping foolish policies is retooling the educational system, which was designed
in an age when most men worked with their muscles./ More generally, schools need to become
more boy-friendly.
从上面可以看到，要写出逻辑清晰的文章，我们要特别注意句子以及段落的衔接和连贯。这就要
求我们用好连接词和语义承接。在写作中常见的连接词有because, as, while, it, however, therefore, although, similarly, consequently, nevertheless等，它们属于“明连接”。“暗承接”即语义承接，通过上下文之间的承接关系行文，比如通过指示代词、人称代词等指代前一句中出现的内容，或转述、解释前一句的关键词，从而形成自然的承接关系。例如这篇雅思9分作文（选段）：
I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the
computer every day. This they are using the
computer for.
The main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often
electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. The player is usually the “hero” of
the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centered and insensitive to
others.
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上面的作文片段中，This 用来指代I tend to agree...一整句的内容，连接词because 用来连接从句说明原因，regardless of 后面连接名词性从句做进一步说明。These 用来指代上一句中出现的computer activities ，用定冠词the 修饰的player 和game 则与上一句呼应，指代游戏中的玩家和游戏。
二、有意识地进行逻辑学训练
由于种种原因，我们的中学甚至大学都没有对学生进行系统的逻辑训练，这在一定程度上对写作造成了影响。逻辑学知识的缺失会导致文章语言不通，层次混乱，主题不明。要写出思维严谨，脉络清晰的文章，我们必须掌握基本的逻辑学规律：排中律，同一律，矛盾律。
排中律是指文章的立意要明确，旗帜鲜明，千万不要和稀泥。比如像这样的中心句：
Some people think that students should go to boarding schools instead of living at home. Do
you agree or disagree?
我们应该在文章中明确给出自己的意见：赞同上寄宿学校或者反对，而不是模棱两可，观点不清。 同一律是指在思考过程中，使用的概念或判断必须始终不变，保持同一。这也是文章立意符合要求、语体风格得体的必要条件。比如：
Judging from the current tendency, I am inclined to believe that traditional shopping will
disappear gradually and the reasons are as follows: For one thing, the online shopping can bring
convenience to people's life…For another, the merchandizes in online shops are much cheaper than
that in those real shops because... Everybody tends to choose the online shopping in this case.
读起来是不是感觉有点怪？因为它出现了前后不一致的问题，前半部分给出的论点是传统购物会逐渐消失，后面的论证过程却在说网购的好处，两者失去了同一性，不能衔接。
矛盾律是指文章论述必须首尾相贯，避免出现自相矛盾，跑题离题的现象。比如对于 Asking students to evaluate their teachers is a good idea这样的题目，文章中应该阐述学生评价老师带来的好处，而不应该把阐述重点放在学生评分带来的坏处上。
三、大量阅读，大量思考
事实上，我们不能把一件事说清楚，很多时候并不是语言技巧的问题，而是在于，我们对这件事情不够了解，知识储备不够多。爱因斯坦说：“If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough. ” 设想一下，让你写自己最擅长的领域和最不擅长的领域，哪一个更有条理？
没有基本的知识储备，空谈语言技巧和逻辑思维方法无任何意义。清晰的逻辑和有力的论证一定建立在深入了解话题的基础上。正所谓“读书破万卷，下笔如有神”。《经济学人》和《卫报》等刊物篇幅适中，信息量大，所讨论的主题又与考场作文息息相关，非常适合用于考场作文的素材积累。可以留意一下自己对哪些话题最不熟悉，然后想办法通过阅读来积累素材。
除积累素材之外，做一个积极的阅读者也很重要。积极的阅读者在阅读中要学会多次重复，主动思考。一篇外刊文章读一遍是不够的，至少要读上三五遍，在阅读的过程要不断思考：作者的观点是什么，观点是怎样论述的，文章的结构是怎样的，段落之间有哪些联系，有哪些衔接词，让我来写的话，我会怎么写？阅读时多问自己一些这样的问题，并尝试着模仿这些优秀文章，这样才能不断提升。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
第三步：审美修辞，追求地道
严复先生指出翻译的标准是“信、达、雅”。英语写作莫不如此。对大部分人而言，完成求“信”、求“达”的前两步已很厉害了。因此，我打算在第三步中赏析几篇来自《经济学人》的优秀文章。所谓“文无定法”，向母语者学习将进一步丰富我们的词汇，完善我们的思想。
一、细节入手，角度独特
2015年11月13日，巴黎遭遇恐怖袭击。各大媒体对此进行了报道。先看《卫报》社论Darkness fills
the stadium of light in Paris I once knew 《熟悉的灯光弥漫着黑暗》的开头部分，注意划线句子：
Until Friday night, the Stade de France in the northern suburbs of Paris was a cauldron of
dreams. As a schoolgirl in the capital, it was where I watched Zinédine Zidane, the superstar
footballer from the same Algerian background as me, lift the 1998 World Cup in front of a united – the place where suicide bombers exploded devices
直到周五晚上，位于巴黎北郊的法兰西体育场还是梦想的发源地。当年还是学生的我正
是在这里观看了1998年世界杯决赛。那时，与我同样出生于阿尔及利亚的著名球星齐达内
战胜了团结一心的巴西，捧起了大力神杯。齐达内和他的队友们大多来自工人和移民家庭。
决赛当晚，来自各个阶级、拥有不同肤色和信仰的人们怀着无比喜悦的心情见证了这支出身
贫寒的球队将这座辉煌宏伟的体育场变作荣耀与激情的象征。现在，法兰西体育场变成了犯
罪现场——恐怖分子发动了自杀式袭击，爆炸装置致使三人死亡，多人受伤。袭击发生时，
体育场内正在举行法国队与世界冠军德国队的友谊赛。当第一声巨响回荡在首都的上空，这
场法国近年来最为严重的恐怖屠杀被现场直播。（注：Zizou 是齐达内的昵称；Les Bleus意为
“蓝色队”，指法国队）
再看BBC 社论Paris attacks: Could they happen in the UK? 《巴黎遭袭：恐怖袭击会在英国发生吗？》的开头部分：
While the UK has sustained far, far fewer casualties from jihadist violence than France, all of
the available evidence indicates that the terrible events inflicted upon Paris could happen here - and
security chiefs have long planned for that possibility.
虽然英国在巴黎恐怖袭击中蒙受的伤亡非常非常小，但各种能搜集到的证据均证实重创
巴黎的恐怖活动有可能降临英国。安全主管已经为这种可能性做了长远的计划。
作为周刊，《经济学人》也推出了社论How to fight back 《如何反击》。且看开头：
THE assault on Paris by Islamic State on November 13th was an attack on life's innocent
pleasures. The terrorists shot anyone who strayed into their gunsights--ordinary mecs out for a gig,
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
sharing a drink, or watching a football friendly. It could have been any big city. It could have been you.
11月13日，伊斯兰国在巴黎发动的恐怖活动是对生命纯真乐趣的袭击。凡在射程之内，
恐怖分子见人就杀——欣赏演出的普通人，聚会喝酒的好朋友，甚至是观看友谊赛的球迷。这本可能发生在任何大城市，受害者本可能是你。
同样是报道骇人听闻的恐怖袭击，《卫报》的社论从记者的个人经历出发，感染力不强，对于灾难的描述也显得中规中矩；BBC 坚持“第零视角”，忙着分析国内安全形势，避免灾难重演，冷冰冰的写作未免有些狭隘；最高明的还是《经济学人》。本文首先强调这次恐怖袭击是对生命纯真乐趣的袭击，任何人都可能成为恐怖袭击的目标。尤其是最后两句话：It could have been any big city. It could have been you. 这告诉人们，恐怖袭击并不仅仅存在于电视和新闻中，下一秒就可能发生在你我身边。第一段只有短短四句话，但它的效果比《卫报》的连篇长句要好很多。
二、对比分析，形象鲜明
《经济学人》中时常用对比手法作开头。如Learning unleashed 《放宽私人办学》
THE Ken Ade Private School is not much to look at. Its classrooms are corrugated tin shacks
scattered through the stinking streets of Makoko, Lagos’s best-known slum, two grades to a room. The windows are glassless; the light sockets without bulbs. The ceiling fans are still. But by mid-morning deafening chants rise above the mess, as teachers lead gingham-clad pupils in educational games and dance. Chalk-boards spell out the A-B-Cs for the day. A smart, two-storey government school looms over its ramshackle private neighbor. Its children sit twiddling their thumbs. The teachers have not shown up.
马科科是拉各斯最著名的贫民窟，坐落在那里的肯埃德私立学校乍一看并不起眼。臭气
熏天的街道上零星分布着一些用瓦楞纸和锡纸搭建的破棚屋，这便是两个年级共用一间的教
室。窗户上没有玻璃，电灯座上也没有灯泡，吊扇静止不动。不过每到早上九十点钟，老师
就会带领着身穿方格花布衣服的小学生做课堂游戏、跳舞，震耳欲聋的歌声便回荡在破败的
教室里。黑板上写着当天要学的英文单词。在这所摇摇欲坠的私立学校的后面，隐约能看见
一所气派的两层楼公立学校。那里的学生坐在教室里玩手指。老师还没有现身。
非洲肯艾德地区的公立学校虽然免费，但教学质量极差。在那里，三分之一的孩子上学四年后仍无法达到基本的阅读水平。能凑齐学费的家长往往会送孩子去私立学校上学，因此才有私人办学的蓬勃兴起。本文巧妙运用对比手法突出公学、私学的反转差异，引起读者思考，吸引读者阅读兴趣。
再有一个生动的事例：Making friends again 《重归于好》
When Barack Obama took his Brazilian counterpart, Dilma Rousseff, for a stroll around the
Martin Luther King memorial on June 29th, the sky over Washington was cloudless. There was no hint, either, of the heavy weather caused by revelations two years ago that American spooks had spied on Ms. Rousseff’s e-mail. She reacted by calling off a state visit, plunging relations into a wintry gloom. Nobody expects that upset to be forgotten, but the rapport between the presidents has warmed.
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
6月29日，当奥巴马携巴西总统罗塞夫在马丁·路德·金雕像附近闲逛时，华盛顿天气晴
朗，万里无云。现场气氛也同样祥和，一点都看不出两年前两国关系交恶的痕迹——当时，
美国情报部门被爆监控罗塞夫的电子邮件，罗塞夫愤而取消对美国的国事访问，两国关系陷
入低谷。没人认为人们能忘记这场风波，不过两位总统的关系确实有所回暖。
罗塞夫出访时，巴西国内经济滞胀，腐败丑闻又让罗塞夫的支持率大幅下跌，她只好将希望寄托在外事上。在奥巴马面前强颜欢笑也就不难理解。本段对比描写让读者真切感受到大国外交的风云变幻，表面风平浪静，实则暗涌湍急。
三、人物风骨，历历在目
首先看《经济学人》怎样评价2016年美国总统大选的热门候选人，集逗比、土豪、疯子、政客于一身的唐纳德·特朗普。且看传记Trump’s America 《特朗普的美国梦》：
“This country is a hellhole. We are going down fast,” says Donald Trump. “We can’t do
anything right. We’re a laughing-stock all over the world. The American dream is dead.” It is a
dismal prospect, but fear not: a solution is at hand. “I went to the Wharton School of Business. I’m,
like, a really smart person,” says Mr. Trump. “It’s very possible”, he once boasted, “that I could be
the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it.”
When Mr. Trump first announced that he was running for president, he was dismissed as a
joke. A wheeler-dealer with lots of experience of reality TV but none whatsoever of elective office
wants to be commander-in-chief? Surely, sophisticates scoffed, no one could want this erratic
tycoon’s fingers anywhere near the nuclear button. But for weeks now he has led the polls for the
Republican nomination, despite saying things that would have torpedoed any normal campaign.
Americans are waking up to the possibility that a man whose hobby is naming things after himself
might —conceivably —be the nominee of the party of Lincoln and Reagan. It is worth spelling out
why that would be a terrible thing. Fortunately, the Donald’s own words provide a useful guide.
“这个国家藏污纳垢。我们正在快速下滑，”唐纳德·特朗普说道：“我们事事不顺，我们
成了全世界的笑柄。美国梦早就死了。”虽说前景黯淡，但别害怕，解决方案近在眼前。“我
在沃顿商学院读过书，我才是真正的聪明人！”特朗普夸下海口：“不是我吹，我可能是第一
个既会挣钱、又会花钱的总统候选人。”
特朗普第一次宣布参与总统竞选时，大家都把这当成了笑话。想想看：一个投机钻营，
只在电视真人秀里如鱼得水，却对选举、官场一无所知的商人要当三军总司令？无疑，不少
见多识广的人嘲笑说：“没人想让这个古怪的大亨把手指伸向核按钮。”尽管特朗普说了些足
够让先前竞选造势打水漂的蠢话，他在党内提名的投票却连续数周遥遥领先。美国人正意识
到，一个喜欢给别人起外号的业余人士很有可能赢得林肯派和里根派的提名。此事的可怕原
因值得阐明。而幸运的是，唐纳德的话为我们提供了有益的指导意见。
特朗普年轻时敢闯敢拼，经营饭店，投资地产，挣得数亿身家；中年不慎投资失败，债台高筑，他缜密周旋，十年磨难东山再起。现在的特朗普，写着畅销图书、走着星光大道、热衷慈善事业。但他嚣张狂妄、恣意妄言的毛病也饱受诟病。《经济学人》从特朗普语录写起，让读者好奇他是否真的有如此能耐。然而，如果直接写《特朗普同志谈治国理政》反而显得死气沉沉，人物访谈就成了一纸传单，没有其特别的价值。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
最后的例子是一封名叫A quiet bell ringing《静铃轻唱》的讣告。2015年10月2日，当代爱尔兰最杰出的剧作家布莱恩•弗莱尔去世，享年86岁。这是怎样的一个人，能让《经济学人》为他刊发讣告？无论是否了解布莱恩，且看开头和结尾的描写就能略知缘由：
If you were to catch Brian Friel in some public house in Derry he might well be joking,
“getting the craic”, his blue pixie’s eyes in his red lumpish face glinting with mischief and fun. On the other hand he might be sitting out of the way, nursing his beer with that look of moroseness that he had, and not inclined to answer questions. For there was a Private Friel, extrovert and witty with his friends, and a Public Friel who wanted to speak only through his plays and would not have slick interviewers define him otherwise: a bleak sort of fella, deadly serious in intent, whose natural state was a deep sense of confusion and ambivalence towards the world.
America was ever the land of liberation for him, the place his characters would leave for as
soon as the potato crop was in. But he knew that, if he went, homesickness for green Ireland would gnaw away at him as surely as at them. Exile was not the answer. There was a strange dignity in staying but wavering, trying to balance emotions that would not be reconciled. Confusion, he insisted, “is not an ignoble condition”.
要是你在德里的某个酒馆看见布赖恩•弗莱尔，他很可能正在讲笑话或者“找乐子”，憨厚
的脸颊微微泛红，精灵般的蓝眼睛闪动着调皮的光芒。另一些时候，你很可能看到他坐在角落里，带着他惯有的阴郁表情，浅酌着手中的啤酒，不愿意回答任何问题。没错，世界上有“两个”布赖恩，朋友间的布赖恩待人开朗，处事机智；而公众见到的布赖恩却相对寡言，只愿通过戏剧发声。这让那些油腔滑调的媒体只得给他这样的描述：这个家伙有些阴沉，处事异常严肃。面对这个世界，他总是感到重重的矛盾，深深的彷徨。（注：craic 出自爱尔兰英语，指美好时光，尤其是友好愉快的交谈）
那些扰人的媒体有时候会建议布赖恩继续留在美国。毕竟，美国是布赖恩心中的自由之
乡，是那个一旦时机成熟，他剧中的角色总会去往的地方。但布赖恩知道，一旦长留美国，他就会像那些角色一样，被乡愁深深折磨，思念起爱尔兰的青翠绿土。离开远非答案，留下亦是光荣。他在家乡踟蹰，努力平衡那些无从调和的情感，当中自有独特的尊严。他说：彷徨“并不可耻”。
描写人物从细节着手并不罕见，运用对比也不算新鲜，真正打动读者的是字里行间流淌的情感。布赖恩一生创作了30部戏剧，水平之高足以让他与贝克特、辛格、奥凯西等大家比肩。他热爱自己的国家，“为爱尔兰之人，发爱尔兰之声”。文章读罢，只得连声哀叹：泰山梁木，溘然长往！
四、科学人文，交相辉映
作为一部面向全球高端人士的杂志，《经济学人》包罗万象。除了任务访谈、社论时评、调查报告之外，还有一些优秀的科普文章。他们的存在，正是科学与人文之美的完美结合。且看Life, the multiverse and everything 《生命，多重宇宙及一切》
Science has remade the world, but scientists are not finished yet.
“I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and
then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” Those words, ascribed to Sir Isaac New ton, might still be spoken, with the appropriate correction for sex, by any scientist today.
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
The discipline of natural science that Newton helped found in the second half of the 17th
century has extended humanity’s horizons to a degree he could scarcely have envisaged. Newton
lived in a world that thought itself 6,000 years old, knew nothing of chemical elements or
disease-causing microbes, believed living creatures could spring spontaneously from mud, hay or
dirty bed-linen, and had only just stopped assuming that the sun (and everything else in the
universe) revolved around the Earth.
Yet even today, deep problems and deeper mysteries remain. Science cannot yet say how life
began or whether the universe is but one of many. Some things people take for granted—that time
goes forwards but never backwards, say—are profoundly weird. Other mysteries, no less strange,
are not even perceived. One is that 96% of the universe’s contents pass ghostlike and unnoticed
through the minuscule remaining fraction, which solipsistic humans are pleased to call “ordinary
matter”. Another is how, after billions of years when the Earth was inhabited only by single-celled
creatures, animals suddenly popped into existence. Perhaps the deepest mystery of all is how atoms
in human brains can consciously perceive the desire to ask all of these questions in the first place,
and then move other atoms around to answer them.
Bacteria and brontosaurus. Oxygen and octane. Quarks and quasars. All are the offspring of
Newton’s child. Moreover, it is the manipulation of nature which science permits that has brought
today’s unprecedented plenty and prosperity. Most of all, though, science has brought
self-knowledge, for it has put humans in their place in two contradictory ways. It has dethroned
them as the center of the universe, by showing that mankind is a Johnny-come-lately, living on a
tiny planet orbiting an ordinary star in an unremarkable galaxy that is, itself, one of more than 150
billion such galaxies. But it has also enthroned humanity, revealing the extraordinary nature of the
universe’s inner workings in ways that Newton’s contemporaries were only beginning to glimpse.
Simultaneously demoted and exalted by science in this unprecedented era of discovery, Homo
sapiens still has oceans to survey.
科学春风吹满地，同志仍需再努力——题记
“我像是个在海滨玩耍的孩子，为时而拾到的莹洁石子和美丽贝壳而欢欣。那浩瀚的真
理海洋仍展现在我的面前。”只要在必要时修正一下主语性别，艾萨克·牛顿的这句名言也许
仍可代表当今所有科学家的心声。
17世纪后半叶，自然科学在牛顿的推动下创立，至今已将人类的眼界拓展到连牛顿本人
也难以预料的程度。在牛顿生活的年代，人们认为世界只有6000年历史，对化学元素和致
病微生物一无所知，还以为生物是从自己烂泥干草或者邋遢床单里产生的，甚至才刚刚知道
原来太阳（和宇宙中其他一切）不是绕地球转的。
然而，即使是今天，难题和奥秘也并未全部解开。科学依然不能解释生命是如何诞生、
我们所在的宇宙是否只是多重宇宙之一等问题。一些人们习以为常的观念——比如时间一去
不复返——仔细想来却十分古怪。还有些问题同样古怪，人们甚至难以察觉：一是宇宙的构
成中有96%人们从未留意，就如幽灵一般，以体积极小的物质形式存在（唯我论者会高兴地
称其为“普通物质”）；二是在地球被单细胞生物一统天下数十亿年后，动物是如何突然出现
的；而最深奥的谜题也许在于，人类脑中的微粒是如何有意识地感知到发问的渴望，然后用
另一些微粒做出回答。
不论是细菌还是雷龙，不论是氧气还是辛烷，不论是夸克还是类星体，这一切，皆是牛
顿的继承者们种出的累累果实。除了让这些新发现成为可能之外，科学更为重要的意义在于
让人类了解并把握自然，当今世界才因此实现前所未有的富足与繁荣。最重要的是，科学通
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然 整理
过两种截然相反的方式让人类认清了自我。科学让人类心生谦逊，让我们意识到人类远不是
宇宙的中心，我们历史短暂，居住于一颗渺小的行星，环绕着一颗普通恒星，隶属于1500
亿多个星系中微不足道的一个；科学又让人类意气风发：宇宙运行规律的庐山真面目正逐渐
显现，相比之下，牛顿时代的水平只是初出茅庐罢了。在这个科学既让我们谦卑又给我们荣
耀的时代里，在这个前所未有的探索纪元中，仍有未知的领域等待着人类探索。
看完此段，我被作者渊博的知识，灵活驾驭语言的能力和独到的写作角度所深深震撼。第一段“更改性别”的梗无端戳中了我的笑点；第二段和第四段的描写让人连声喝彩。人人都能想到牛顿的名言，但谁能想到借牛顿发力描写科技发展的日新月异？就算想到，又有谁能把牛顿时代的科技水平描绘的有声有色？人人都会知道“科学是把双刃剑”，但大多数人只会用“要合理而辩证的运用科学”而草草作结。但作者却从“科学使人谦卑”、“科学给人荣耀”两方面分析，真乃神来之笔。西方人写作历来有“东一锤子西一棒”的特点，卫星和地铁一起跑，火箭与异形并肩飞。这篇文章就有这种异想天开的奇妙气质。最后一段第一句运用押头韵（alliteration ），每对单词互不关联，但开头类似，结尾近同。合辙押韵，不失文风。此处应当有掌声！
后记
本文写作只用了三天，但搜集材料却贯穿整个寒假。写作是英语学习的基本功，上述文字是我个人经验的一点总结，希望对大家有帮助。在本文创作过程中受到知名学者魏剑锋的启迪，在这里表示感谢。
《经济学人》的很多文章用词考究，手法精当，内容丰富，除了选取的这几篇，我还喜欢报道中国应对金融危机的T he Great Fall of China 《中国跌跌不休》；关注欧洲难民潮的Exodus 《出叙利亚记》；关注新兴市场的The two Mexicos 《双面墨西哥》；介绍屠呦呦与诺贝尔的Wisdom, ancient and modern 《古代与现代的智慧》；当然还有李克强总理的力作China's economic blueprint 《中国经济蓝图》。最让我动容的三篇文章是关注中国老龄化社会的The kin and I 《亲属与我》以及调查中国农村留守儿童现状的Little match children 《卖火柴的小孩子》与Pity the children 《同情留守儿童》。很难想象一个西方媒体能相对公允地调查分析中国的社会现象，因此三篇文章的深度和力度与中国媒体不相上下。仅从题目上看，这些文章或化用《圣经》名篇，或改变童话故事，或使用暗喻修辞，美感之余还简洁明快，值得细细品读。不过“旁观者”也有抹黑中国的时候，比如报道天津港8.12事件的Inferno 《熊熊大火》认为中国是“独裁国家”就让我很不爽。总之，《经济学人》是个提升阅读与写作能力的宝库，善加利用好处多多。
附录是我参加“21世纪杯”英语演讲比赛的讲稿，他们是在导师、外教和我的共同努力下完成的。虽然还达不到第三步的水平，但完成前两步还是有把握的。这篇文章写的好不好，好在哪里，对各位看官英语写作能力的提高有何帮助？这些就当是思考题吧。
【U06-11D (3)】高阶写作教程·第三版 2013级化学院王浩然整理
附录：2015年“21世纪杯”全国英语演讲比赛山东省冠军王浩然讲稿
Two Cheers for “Made in China”
While globalization turns China into the “world’s factory”, the world has witnessed China's progress. 1 in 5 air conditioners in the world is made in China and Chinese clothing takes up 68% of Korean import. Thanks to the reform and opening-up policy, Chinese domestic economy developed considerably in recent decades, which has brought its people an improving living standard and been a source of great pride.
However, is the phenomenon worthy of such optimism? I am afraid not. From each iPhone produced, China owns only 1.8% of its profits. Meanwhile, toxic foods and recalling incidents are not uncommon in the media. And instead of shopping domestically, Chinese citizens flock to Japan to purchase high-end products of light industry from toilet seats to electric cookers. Thus we can see: the existing low-cost, labor-oriented production not only brings great damage to the environment, but also interferes with inte grated development of our homeland. As far as I am concerned, we don’t have to cheer for ‘Made in China’. Instead, we should feel pity for it.
We once had faith in the philosophy of “getting rich matters most” and more or less ignored the huge price we had to pay. But, ironically, it was not long before we saw our great achievements were also leading to our backward developments. Truth be told, China specializes in producing all kinds of entry-level products, which undoubtedly makes intellectual property rights the Achilles’ heel of Chinese manufacturing. To reverse the situation, it is high time we transformed products from ‘made in China’ to ‘created in China’.
Firstly, national brand is the master card of any domestic company. Lenovo is one of the world’s largest producers of personal computers. The new-concept products it produces have made Lenovo worldwide famous. Another example goes to the Huawei Technology, whose reputation was earned by its incomparable contribution to the global information industry. Its brand has become one of the most sparkling business cards of China.
The second strategy lies in the innovation of technology. Obsolete modes of production are a high risk factor to both company staff and the environment. In the span-new epoch when technologies develop by leaps and bounds, it is through innovation that we assume leadership in the global market, just as what China has achieved in high-speed railway and space exploration.
Finally, an efficient administrative system is crucial to the shift of the production mode as well. It will lead to advanced labor distribution and well-balanced capital circulation. Haier Group turned itself into a limited liability company in 1993. Thanks to the transformation, the enterprise consolidated its core competence and became a potential competitor of the Fortune 500.
Ladies and gentlemen, I firmly believe that China will get a strong foothold in the global arena. When the moment arrives that millions of products are labeled ‘created in China’, we will cheer for what is truly ours. Thank you.