与英美人士交流应保持怎样的距离爲得体呢?
在与本国人交谈时,你是否注意到这一现象:一个陌生人或一般关系的异性朋友离你很近与你交谈,你会感到很不舒服,於是你会有意或无意地往後移步与对方保持一定的交谈距离。而当你与熟悉的或亲密的朋友行走或交谈时,就会缩短交谈距离。根据不同物件的熟悉程度不时地调节适当的会话距离在同一国家人中是因人而异的。然而在跨文化交际或跨国经营合作中,你是否意识到与来自不同文化国家的人应保持一定的交际距离,使双方感到舒适。
本文提供实例进行分析,同时还提供在各种场合及不同人际关系的情况下交际双方所应保持得体的交际距离的研究成果,这必定会解开由不适当的会话距离而引起不适的奥秘。
一.案例
Eva came to the United States from Peru to study at an American college. She wanted to live with an American family to find out more about the American way of life and she wanted to improve her English.
The foreign student office of her college found the Larsen family for Eva to live with. Eva spoke with Mrs. Larsen on the phone. She sounded very warm and friendly to Eva. She told Eva she could move in the next day. Eva was very happy about it.
Eva arrived the next day with all her luggage. She was excited to meet the Larsens. She rang the doorbell. A tall, blond woman answered the door with a big smile on her face. She said, "Oh, you must be Eva! I'm so glad you're here! Let me help you with your bags. Come on in. I'm Hilda Larsen." She took one of Eva's bags into the house.
When they got inside, Mrs. Larsen put the bag down and stood across from Eva, about 3 feet away, she crossed her arms in front of her and asked Eva, "Tell me about your trip. I'd love to go to Peru someday."
Just then, her teenaged son walked in, hand in his pockets. "Jimmy, meet Eva. Maybe she can help you with your Spanish this semester." said his mother.
Jimmy said, "Hi, glad to meet you." His hands stayed in his pockets while he nodded his head.
Eva didn't know what to do with her hands. She felt uncomfortable. But she smiled and said, "Hi, nice to meet you."
The Larsens showed Eva her new room. Then they left her alone to unpack. Eva felt a little disappointed, but she didn't know exactly why. She thought Mrs. Larsen seemed so friendly on the phone. But now she wasn't sure. Jimmy also seemed a little cold, but maybe he was just shy.
Eva tried to decide what was wrong. She thought to herself. If an American girl came to stay with me in Peru, she would get a warmer welcome than that. My mother would give her a big kiss, instead of just standing there, on the other side of the room. And my brother would give her a proper greeting. Well, people told me that Americans are cold. I guess they're right.
Questions
1
2
3
4 How did Mrs. Larsen greet Eva? How did Jimmy greet Eva? Why did Eva feel that the Larsens were cold? Do you think that Mrs. Larsen was cold? Why did she seem cold to Eva?
二.英美文化介绍
和其他国家的人相比,美国人需要更大的空间距离。虽然他们重感情,但
他们在很大的程度上更需要幽静的生活,不喜欢他人打扰或侵占他们的私人领
域。比如在公共汽车上、医院就诊室里、候车室或休息室里,他们会尽可能地与
邻座隔开一个位子就座。人类学家爱德华·霍尔在研究人类对周围空间的反应时
发现,每个人都有他自己独有的空间需要。霍尔博士把空间分爲四个空间区:l .密
切空间,2.人身空间,3.社交空间,4.公共空间。各个区域传递着不同的资
讯及人们相互之间的密切程度。
密切空间:间距爲从两人人体接触到相距60 米。这种近距状态多出现在谈情说
爱时,或出现在知心朋友间。两个熟悉不久的男子处於密切空间中容易引起双方
不舒服及不安,如果一对十分亲呢的男女处於这种空间,则相互感到快慰自然。
要是不太熟悉的一男一女处於这种空间,双方则都会感到尴尬。
人身空间:它包括近距人身和远距人身空间。前者间隔爲60 米到90 米之间,是酒会或朋友聚会上最舒适的人身间隔。後者间隔爲近工米到1.5米,所以保持这一间隔的接触通常不是私人的交往。
社交空间:社交空间有近距离和远距离之分。前者的距离爲1.5米到2米,这是一种适用於处理公务的社交距离。如与客户谈生意、接见来访者及营业员与顾客之间。远距离社交空间的间隔在2米至4米,它适用於正式的社交活动及商业活动。
公共空问:公共空间也有近距离及远距离之分。近距离公共空间在4米至8米,它适合於上司与助手说话,教师给学生上课等场合。远距离公共空间适用於政治人物的活动,比如演讲等。
美国人对交谈距离较爲敏感,如有人站得较近或超出他们之间的关系所应保持的距离,则会感到很不自在,因而他们会自动地调节距离,直到舒适爲止。这时往往会发生这一现象一方设法调节交谈距离,达到使他感到舒服的程度,而交际的另一方也设法调节自己所感到理想的交谈距离,结果一方往後退,始终与对方保持一定的距离,而另一方却感到双方保持的交谈距离太远,於是尽量靠近对方。据来华工作的英美人士介绍,中国人比英美人士的交谈距离要近,所以在交谈时,中国人站得较近,使英美人士感到不舒服。你是否意识到这种差异了呢?
叁.案例分析
握手是见面时的一种问候礼节,美国男女都有握手的习惯,不过,他们还是更注重语言的问候及表达。在其他一些国家中,比如伊娃的国家,问候时如果没有身体的接触就不是真正的问候,见面时接吻是一种尊重对方的行爲。而一些亚洲国家的问候方式却不同,他们所使用的是一种非接触性的问候方式。尊重他人不是通过人体接触来体现,反而视人体接触是一种失礼的行爲,比如泰国、日本等国家。
伊娃以她本国的文化习惯来理解拉圣太太,而産生了误解。伊娃认爲,拉圣太太显得较冷淡,因爲在伊娃国家里,妇女间没有接吻的问候被认爲是一种失礼的行爲,是一种对他人冷淡的表现。但按美国文化习惯,拉圣太太并非对伊娃冷淡,因爲她已向伊娃微笑表示欢迎,并问了一些很友好的问题。其实,在美国,妇女初次见面是不与对方接吻的,但随着交往的加深,爲了适合异国的文化习俗,许多美国妇女也开始与异国的妇女接吻和拥抱。
伊娃感到拉圣太太对她冷淡的另一原因是因爲拉圣太太站得离伊娃太远。人类学家及心理学家研究了近体距离时发现,交际双方所需的交谈距离是一个涉及两国文化的问题
例如,美国朋友之间的交谈距离爲人身空间距离,他们站的距离爲 60 米到 1. 5米之间。如站得太近就会显得太亲密,如站得超出1.5米,就显得太冷淡。拉丁美洲和阿拉伯人通常站得很近与人交谈,一般在 46 米内,超出 46 米与人交谈会被认爲是一种不友好的行爲。
四.建议
出国留学之前或在对外交流与合作中,我们必须意识到双方舒适的交谈距离,意识到本国的非语言表达行爲与异国的非语言表达方式存在着差异,因此,在学习另一种语言时,我们必须仔细观察及认真学习这一语言现象,不然,我们也会産生像伊娃那样的误解。
你是否也有类似的经历与困惑呢?
与英美人士交流应保持怎样的距离爲得体呢?
在与本国人交谈时,你是否注意到这一现象:一个陌生人或一般关系的异性朋友离你很近与你交谈,你会感到很不舒服,於是你会有意或无意地往後移步与对方保持一定的交谈距离。而当你与熟悉的或亲密的朋友行走或交谈时,就会缩短交谈距离。根据不同物件的熟悉程度不时地调节适当的会话距离在同一国家人中是因人而异的。然而在跨文化交际或跨国经营合作中,你是否意识到与来自不同文化国家的人应保持一定的交际距离,使双方感到舒适。
本文提供实例进行分析,同时还提供在各种场合及不同人际关系的情况下交际双方所应保持得体的交际距离的研究成果,这必定会解开由不适当的会话距离而引起不适的奥秘。
一.案例
Eva came to the United States from Peru to study at an American college. She wanted to live with an American family to find out more about the American way of life and she wanted to improve her English.
The foreign student office of her college found the Larsen family for Eva to live with. Eva spoke with Mrs. Larsen on the phone. She sounded very warm and friendly to Eva. She told Eva she could move in the next day. Eva was very happy about it.
Eva arrived the next day with all her luggage. She was excited to meet the Larsens. She rang the doorbell. A tall, blond woman answered the door with a big smile on her face. She said, "Oh, you must be Eva! I'm so glad you're here! Let me help you with your bags. Come on in. I'm Hilda Larsen." She took one of Eva's bags into the house.
When they got inside, Mrs. Larsen put the bag down and stood across from Eva, about 3 feet away, she crossed her arms in front of her and asked Eva, "Tell me about your trip. I'd love to go to Peru someday."
Just then, her teenaged son walked in, hand in his pockets. "Jimmy, meet Eva. Maybe she can help you with your Spanish this semester." said his mother.
Jimmy said, "Hi, glad to meet you." His hands stayed in his pockets while he nodded his head.
Eva didn't know what to do with her hands. She felt uncomfortable. But she smiled and said, "Hi, nice to meet you."
The Larsens showed Eva her new room. Then they left her alone to unpack. Eva felt a little disappointed, but she didn't know exactly why. She thought Mrs. Larsen seemed so friendly on the phone. But now she wasn't sure. Jimmy also seemed a little cold, but maybe he was just shy.
Eva tried to decide what was wrong. She thought to herself. If an American girl came to stay with me in Peru, she would get a warmer welcome than that. My mother would give her a big kiss, instead of just standing there, on the other side of the room. And my brother would give her a proper greeting. Well, people told me that Americans are cold. I guess they're right.
Questions
1
2
3
4 How did Mrs. Larsen greet Eva? How did Jimmy greet Eva? Why did Eva feel that the Larsens were cold? Do you think that Mrs. Larsen was cold? Why did she seem cold to Eva?
二.英美文化介绍
和其他国家的人相比,美国人需要更大的空间距离。虽然他们重感情,但
他们在很大的程度上更需要幽静的生活,不喜欢他人打扰或侵占他们的私人领
域。比如在公共汽车上、医院就诊室里、候车室或休息室里,他们会尽可能地与
邻座隔开一个位子就座。人类学家爱德华·霍尔在研究人类对周围空间的反应时
发现,每个人都有他自己独有的空间需要。霍尔博士把空间分爲四个空间区:l .密
切空间,2.人身空间,3.社交空间,4.公共空间。各个区域传递着不同的资
讯及人们相互之间的密切程度。
密切空间:间距爲从两人人体接触到相距60 米。这种近距状态多出现在谈情说
爱时,或出现在知心朋友间。两个熟悉不久的男子处於密切空间中容易引起双方
不舒服及不安,如果一对十分亲呢的男女处於这种空间,则相互感到快慰自然。
要是不太熟悉的一男一女处於这种空间,双方则都会感到尴尬。
人身空间:它包括近距人身和远距人身空间。前者间隔爲60 米到90 米之间,是酒会或朋友聚会上最舒适的人身间隔。後者间隔爲近工米到1.5米,所以保持这一间隔的接触通常不是私人的交往。
社交空间:社交空间有近距离和远距离之分。前者的距离爲1.5米到2米,这是一种适用於处理公务的社交距离。如与客户谈生意、接见来访者及营业员与顾客之间。远距离社交空间的间隔在2米至4米,它适用於正式的社交活动及商业活动。
公共空问:公共空间也有近距离及远距离之分。近距离公共空间在4米至8米,它适合於上司与助手说话,教师给学生上课等场合。远距离公共空间适用於政治人物的活动,比如演讲等。
美国人对交谈距离较爲敏感,如有人站得较近或超出他们之间的关系所应保持的距离,则会感到很不自在,因而他们会自动地调节距离,直到舒适爲止。这时往往会发生这一现象一方设法调节交谈距离,达到使他感到舒服的程度,而交际的另一方也设法调节自己所感到理想的交谈距离,结果一方往後退,始终与对方保持一定的距离,而另一方却感到双方保持的交谈距离太远,於是尽量靠近对方。据来华工作的英美人士介绍,中国人比英美人士的交谈距离要近,所以在交谈时,中国人站得较近,使英美人士感到不舒服。你是否意识到这种差异了呢?
叁.案例分析
握手是见面时的一种问候礼节,美国男女都有握手的习惯,不过,他们还是更注重语言的问候及表达。在其他一些国家中,比如伊娃的国家,问候时如果没有身体的接触就不是真正的问候,见面时接吻是一种尊重对方的行爲。而一些亚洲国家的问候方式却不同,他们所使用的是一种非接触性的问候方式。尊重他人不是通过人体接触来体现,反而视人体接触是一种失礼的行爲,比如泰国、日本等国家。
伊娃以她本国的文化习惯来理解拉圣太太,而産生了误解。伊娃认爲,拉圣太太显得较冷淡,因爲在伊娃国家里,妇女间没有接吻的问候被认爲是一种失礼的行爲,是一种对他人冷淡的表现。但按美国文化习惯,拉圣太太并非对伊娃冷淡,因爲她已向伊娃微笑表示欢迎,并问了一些很友好的问题。其实,在美国,妇女初次见面是不与对方接吻的,但随着交往的加深,爲了适合异国的文化习俗,许多美国妇女也开始与异国的妇女接吻和拥抱。
伊娃感到拉圣太太对她冷淡的另一原因是因爲拉圣太太站得离伊娃太远。人类学家及心理学家研究了近体距离时发现,交际双方所需的交谈距离是一个涉及两国文化的问题
例如,美国朋友之间的交谈距离爲人身空间距离,他们站的距离爲 60 米到 1. 5米之间。如站得太近就会显得太亲密,如站得超出1.5米,就显得太冷淡。拉丁美洲和阿拉伯人通常站得很近与人交谈,一般在 46 米内,超出 46 米与人交谈会被认爲是一种不友好的行爲。
四.建议
出国留学之前或在对外交流与合作中,我们必须意识到双方舒适的交谈距离,意识到本国的非语言表达行爲与异国的非语言表达方式存在着差异,因此,在学习另一种语言时,我们必须仔细观察及认真学习这一语言现象,不然,我们也会産生像伊娃那样的误解。
你是否也有类似的经历与困惑呢?