小编给你一个美联英语官方免费试听课申请链接： http://m.meten.com/test/waijiao.aspx?tid=16-73675-0 美联英语提供：美术生走在淡淡金色的黄昏
17 years old, the class turned to an art student.
The day of school, the teacher led him to report, he reluctantly fell his eyes standing on the podium, Xi Zi, such as gold to introduce themselves: I called Zhuangjia Mu. I saw the beautiful eyelashes beautiful princess proud of the arc, my heart like a bottle of soda soda opened the lid, kept the slightest bubble of the bubble. How can boys have such a doll's eyelashes? Really unreasonable.
Artists walk in the faint golden twilight Artists are tall and big, love to wear loose white shirt, sitting in the last row of the classroom corner, quietly. He did not have to math class, because the college entrance examination free test, in fact, all the subjects he rarely come, basically belong to grazing type reading. Whenever he hangs some haughty long eyelashes, long legs strut through my desk, will shed all the way crash crashed sound. 1, 2, 3, 4, I often so silent, count to 6 when the crash to stop, and then tables and chairs issued a huge sound - art students arrived at the seat.
There are art students present in the classroom, my back is unusually nervous
and sensitive. I could not help but pretend to glance glances without hesitation, but not always able to detect his dynamics. This is a long way to go, a lot of obstacles.
There are times I have to help the English teacher to distribute the examination papers, see his papers, scores in a mess, Zhuangjia Mu 3 words inverted writing quite handsome and handsome. He is not in the seat, where I slowly dawdle, the desk has only printed with red diamond boxery box, pick up unexpectedly familiar with the crash, could not help but open to see: a whole box Cut the drawing pencil! I am inexplicably excited, as if to know an unknown secret.
Yes, I like the art students, and did not want to hide, even if it is in the jittery 17 years old.
I went to the art shop to buy half a dozen imported pencils, on the bag side of the bag, every day fantasy in a place and art students meet unexpectedly, and then took out a pencil gave him, cheerful and decent: "Do you have to come to school every day?"
This plan I fantasy too many times, but not enough time to implement, art students Zhuangmu suddenly disappeared. Who did not know what he was going. I was very melancholy, and even cranky he is not feeling I like him, so deliberately hide not see me. The day when I went to his table and chairs, the stool is the school
warehouse out of the old stuff, a slight action sound to earth-shattering. I put my stool quietly for him, and a bit frantically want to buy a keg of blue acrylic paint to help him impress the old mottled desk. I have never thought of a good person, just for him, and even forgot to care about the response.
When the banker came back again, my bag zipper had rubbed the pencil's orange pen with a shallow paint line.
In the messy class, I handed the paint pencil to the banker. I was so afraid that he was unpredictable to disappear again, half dozen pencil became a gift for the whole gift, with a warm slightly acidic girl mind, rush and solemnly sent out. Previewed thousands of times a word can not tell, I hold the pencil hand quietly hanging in the air, the hearts of roundabout without reason sad, very dramatic red eyes.
This should be even if the confession, right?
The banker took the pencil as quiet as he had always been.
The next day class, I found my stool was changed back, the table stood a simple smile smiling face of the new Qi Shi orange.
Zhuangjia Mu to class when we will get out of school together, choose a more distant road, go very slowly. Sometimes I would say a lot of words, it seems only to fill the banker Mu do not speak when the idle time down Sometimes I will be very silent, shame to reflect on the day before their own chatter.
Zhuangjia Mu said: "Li Xi En, you live this very vibrant thing.
"Yes ah, I love life! But the housekeeper, how do you always hang my eyes?"
"I'm not interested in this world." Nothing is worthy of my concern.
I am sorry for this sentence for a while, but also self-healing. It is really a confused day, I like the banker, no reason, no rules, there is no hope. Do you like me? I do not know. Those fancy Phnom Penh faint evening, we just aimlessly together, all the way kicked the stones.
At the end of the college entrance examination, I was admitted to a normal university in the north. Zhuangjia Mu art professional class passed, but because the culture class too bad to study in school.
I bought the school from the school to draw a new pattern of drawing pencils at the school gate and so on, his doll-like eyelashes happy to raise up, tall and big
man in the sunset smile reddish face. Zhuangjia Mu took the pencil, pulled my hand, his hand wide and cool, fingers clean. Passing by the boys blame the whistle, I walk some of the erratic, rising heart from the countless sweet and happy bubbles.
But it was not long before the resumption of the banker's mood repeatedly badly, the phone began to say some very extreme discouraged words. Homework can not make up, no future, no tomorrow, whether he, or us.
I try to understand him, but still be secretly scratched by these words, a long time, no matter how strong healing ability has been confused by the new small wound tired. And then hang up the phone, I admit that I am a bit tired, but not desperate.
I need to see the banker.
In order to accumulate travel expenses, I do two part-time, but also began to organize high school notes to the banker. For the first time in this life love, I tried to make every effort.
But the dealer and suddenly disappeared. The beep of the phone at the end of the phone makes the connection between us seem so fragile, a lot of writing makes my middle finger painful thin cocoon. I looked at the table east to run the West to
find the strange pencil, the first time to see their own from the beginning to the end of the wishful thinking, but also for the first time to understand the love, I can not do the response to pay.
Finally found him, he was very irritable. In the school with people fighting, was stopped for 3 weeks of class, his father shut him in the room not allowed to answer the phone, his mood to the extreme. All this he was righteous, as if all could be guilty of others. I have finally shouted at the end of the phone: "Do you want to fight? Do not you promise me to work hard? Do you care about me? We do not have tomorrow. We have nothing!"
Yes, I just like a boy, I do not know the sky so that their love can be great selfless to melt everything. The back of the love so much unexpected thorns, I heartbreaking defeated.
The people in the world are having trouble pushing it to the time, and I learned. Time is the most invincible, love and hate, predecessors later, how unforgettable in front of time are just looking back when the light dust. What about my first little love?
When I graduated, I grew taller by one centimeter and found a nice job.
Department of male colleagues moved to dinner, the walls covered with his various stages of the photo, so irrelevant moment, I suddenly saw the banker harmony. In 1997, Zhuangjia Mu standing in the junior high school graduates, smiling sunny. My heart was so earth - shattering, but if nothing had happened: "Where is this man now? The former dorm has a girl with him very familiar.
My friends are not lucky, had a very lively boy, parents divorced after the change of the individual. High school turned away, I heard there to pay A girlfriend, with me when a secret like not willing to say, and later because the girl played a result of the girl also dumped him.He test 3 college entrance examination, and later went to the specialist. Sensitive and proud, feel that they can not test a good school, not worthy of the girl, and now the family moved, completely no news.
"Fight for that girl?"
"Yes ah, some people say that his girlfriend to take the initiative to chase him, take the initiative to send the door is certainly not a good girl, he rushed to the people played a meal, but also refused to review .I was advised him, he said that the world he Care about the people not much, who can not hurt him care about the people ... ... "
I rushed out the door to a taxi, while running tears rolled down.
Where am I going? Do you want to go and where to get back to you? At the age of 17, I really do not know anything about love. I am passionate and flustered in their own "selfless fearless" posture, but did not really understand you, how do you think you have experienced what you take the heart to care about me.
Those years of the evening Ambilight, we all the way aimlessly kicked the stone, did not learn to properly express what, do not know how to look back in the past, do not know how to face the future. We are relatively smiling, holding hands to think that the completion of all the long days long.
17岁的时候，班级里转来一个美术生。
开学那天，老师领他来报到，他很勉强地垂了眼睛站在讲台上，惜字如金地自我介绍：我叫庄家睦。我看见美术生的长睫毛优美骄傲的弧线，心里像有瓶苏打汽水开了盖，不停翻腾着细微踊跃的泡沫。男生怎么可以有那样洋娃娃的睫毛？真是没道理。
美术生走在淡淡金色的黄昏 美术生又高又大，爱穿松松垮垮的白色球衫，坐在教室最后一排的角落，不声不响。他不用上数学课，因为高考免考，事实上所有科目他都很少来上，基本属于放牧型读书。每当他垂着有些倨傲的长睫毛，长腿阔步地经过我的课桌，便会洒下一路哗啦哗啦的声响。1，2，3，4，我常常这样默数，数到6的时候，哗啦声停止，然后桌椅板凳发出巨大声响——美术生抵达了座位。
有美术生在场的课堂，我的后背异常紧张与敏感。我总忍不住佯装若无其事地扭头飞快瞥上一眼，却不总能成功侦测到他的动态。这一路实在是漫长遥远，障碍多多。
有次课间我帮英文老师分发考卷，看见他的试卷，分数一塌糊涂，庄家睦3个字倒写得异常潇洒俊逸。他不在座位，我在那里慢吞吞地磨蹭，课桌上有只印着变形金刚的红色铁皮文具盒，拿起来出乎意料地有熟悉的哗啦声响，忍不住打开来看：整整一盒削好了的绘图铅笔！我莫名其妙地兴奋起来，仿佛知道了一个不为人知的巨大秘密。
是的，我喜欢上了美术生，并且一点儿没想隐瞒，哪怕是在风声鹤唳的17岁。
我去美术用品店买了半打进口的绘图铅笔，放在书包侧袋，每天都幻想着在某个地方与美术生不期而遇，然后拿出铅笔送给他，欢快又得体地说：“庄家睦，我是黎熹恩。你可不可以每天都来上课？”
这个计划我幻想过太多次，然而还没来得及实施，美术生庄家睦就突然消失了。谁也不知道他干什么去了。我一度很惆怅，甚至胡思乱想他是不是感觉到我喜欢他，所以故意躲起来不见我。值日的时候我去擦他的桌椅，那张凳子是学校仓库拖出来的陈年旧物，轻微动作声响就惊天动地。我把自己的凳子悄悄换给了他，并有点儿疯狂地想买一小桶蓝色亚克力颜料帮他把陈旧斑驳的课桌粉刷一新。我从未这样想着对一个人好，就只是对他好，甚至都忘记了在乎一下回应。
庄家睦再次出现的时候，我的书包拉链已经把铅笔的橘色笔杆蹭脱了一条浅浅的
漆线。
乱糟糟的课间，我把脱了漆的铅笔递给庄家睦。我那样生怕着他再次不可预料地消失，半打铅笔成了一个委曲求全的礼物，连带着热烈微酸的少女心意，仓促又隆重地倾囊送出。预演过千百次的对白一个字也说不出来，我握着铅笔的手安静地悬在半空，心中回旋着没有道理的伤心，非常戏剧化地红了眼睛。
这应该就算是了不得的表白了吧？
庄家睦接过铅笔，像他一贯那样不声不响。
第二天上课，我发现我的凳子被换了回来，桌肚里放着一个画着简笔笑脸的新奇士橙。
庄家睦来上课的时候我们会放学一起走上一段，选择一条比较远的路，走得很慢。有时我会说很多话，似乎只是为了填充庄家睦不说话时空闲下来的光阴。有时我又会很沉默，羞愧地反省前一日自己的喋喋不休。
庄家睦说：“黎熹恩，你这个人活得很生机勃勃嘛。”
“是啊，我热爱生活! 可是庄家睦，你怎么总是垂着眼睛没精打采的呢？”
白衣少年回答得云淡风轻：“我对这个世界没兴趣啊。没什么值得我关心的。”
我为着这句话隐秘地难过了一阵，又无药自愈了。那真是一段稀里糊涂的日子，我喜欢着庄家睦，没有道理，没有章法，也没有指望。庄家睦喜欢我吗？我不知道。那些镶了金边的淡淡黄昏，我们只是漫无目的地在一起，一路踢着石子。
高考结束，我被北方一所师范大学录取。庄家睦美术专业课通过了，却因为文化课太糟不得不留校复读。
我从上学的城市买来新奇图案的绘图铅笔在校门口等庄家睦，他洋娃娃般的睫毛高兴地扬起来，高高大大一个人在夕阳下笑得微红了脸。庄家睦接过铅笔，拉住我的手，他的手宽大清凉，手指干干净净。身边路过的男生怪叫着吹口哨，我走路都有些飘忽，心里升腾起无数甜蜜幸福的气泡。
可是没多久，复课的庄家睦情绪反复得厉害，电话里开始说一些非常偏激泄气的话。功课补不起来，没有将来，没有明天，无论是他，还是我们。
我尽量体谅他，可还是会被这些话秘密地划伤，时日长久，再怎样强盛的愈合能力也被新陈叠加的小伤口弄得筋疲力尽。再挂掉电话的时候，我承认我有点儿累了，却还没有绝望。
我需要见到庄家睦。
为了积攒路费，我做两份兼职，还开始整理高中各科笔记给庄家睦。为了这份人生中第一次的爱，我拼尽了全力。
可是庄家睦又突然消失了。电话那头空洞的嘟嘟声让我们之间的联系显得那么脆弱，大量的书写使我的中指起了疼痛的薄茧。我望着桌上东跑西颠搜罗来的稀奇铅笔，第一次看清楚自己从头到尾的一厢情愿，也第一次明白对于爱情，我做不到不计回应的付出。
终于找到他，他却很暴躁。在学校跟人打架，被停了3周的课，他爸爸把他关在房间里不许接电话，他心情糟到极点。这一切他说得理直气壮，好像全都可归罪他人。我在电话这端终于嚷了起来：“庄家睦你为什么要打架？你不是答应我好好用功？你在乎过我吗？我们确实没有明天。我们什么都没有了！”
是的，我只是喜欢一个男生，就不知天高地厚以为自己的爱可以伟大无私到融化一切。爱的背面那么多始料未及的荆棘，我心碎地败下阵来。
这世界上的人们遇到什么难事都把它推给时间，我也学会了。时间最是无敌，爱恨情仇，前生后世，怎样的刻骨铭心在时间面前都只是回首时的清淡尘烟。何况我初次的小小爱情呢。
毕业的时候，我长高了一厘米，还找到一份不错的工作。
部门里有男同事搬家搞聚餐，墙壁上贴满了他各个阶段的照片，这么不相干的时刻，我突然看见了庄家睦。1997年，庄家睦站在初中毕业的少年里，笑得阳光灿烂。我心跳得惊天动地，却若无其事地问：“这个人现在在哪儿? 从前宿舍有女孩跟他很熟。”
同事酒意正酣：“庄家睦啊！我们两家以前是邻居。他这人挺不走运的，本来挺活泼的一男孩，父母离婚后变了个人。高二时转走了，听说在那里交了个女朋友，跟我还当个秘密似的不舍得说，后来因为那女孩打了一架，结果女孩也把他甩了。他考了3次高考，后来去上了专科。这个人一直敏感又骄傲，觉得自己考不了好的学校，配不上那女孩。现在家搬了，彻底没了消息。”
“为那女孩打架？”
“是啊，有人说他女朋友主动追他，主动送上门的肯定不是什么好女孩，他就冲上去把人打了一顿，还拒不检讨。我当时劝他，他说这个世界上他在乎的人不多，谁也不能伤害他在乎的人……”
我冲出门去打车，边跑眼泪边滚落下来。
我要去哪里？庄家睦，我要去往哪里找回你？在17岁，对于爱情我真的一无所知。我热情又慌张地执着于自己“无私无畏”的姿态，却不曾真正去了解过你，你怎样想，你经历了些什么，你拿怎样的心来在乎我。
那些年的黄昏流光溢彩，我们一路漫无目的地踢着石子，没学会恰当地表达什么，不懂得回头看看过去，也不知道该如何面对将来。我们相对笑一笑，牵牵手就以为完成了所有的地久天长。
小编给你一个美联英语官方免费试听课申请链接： http://m.meten.com/test/waijiao.aspx?tid=16-73675-0 美联英语提供：美术生走在淡淡金色的黄昏
17 years old, the class turned to an art student.
The day of school, the teacher led him to report, he reluctantly fell his eyes standing on the podium, Xi Zi, such as gold to introduce themselves: I called Zhuangjia Mu. I saw the beautiful eyelashes beautiful princess proud of the arc, my heart like a bottle of soda soda opened the lid, kept the slightest bubble of the bubble. How can boys have such a doll's eyelashes? Really unreasonable.
Artists walk in the faint golden twilight Artists are tall and big, love to wear loose white shirt, sitting in the last row of the classroom corner, quietly. He did not have to math class, because the college entrance examination free test, in fact, all the subjects he rarely come, basically belong to grazing type reading. Whenever he hangs some haughty long eyelashes, long legs strut through my desk, will shed all the way crash crashed sound. 1, 2, 3, 4, I often so silent, count to 6 when the crash to stop, and then tables and chairs issued a huge sound - art students arrived at the seat.
There are art students present in the classroom, my back is unusually nervous
and sensitive. I could not help but pretend to glance glances without hesitation, but not always able to detect his dynamics. This is a long way to go, a lot of obstacles.
There are times I have to help the English teacher to distribute the examination papers, see his papers, scores in a mess, Zhuangjia Mu 3 words inverted writing quite handsome and handsome. He is not in the seat, where I slowly dawdle, the desk has only printed with red diamond boxery box, pick up unexpectedly familiar with the crash, could not help but open to see: a whole box Cut the drawing pencil! I am inexplicably excited, as if to know an unknown secret.
Yes, I like the art students, and did not want to hide, even if it is in the jittery 17 years old.
I went to the art shop to buy half a dozen imported pencils, on the bag side of the bag, every day fantasy in a place and art students meet unexpectedly, and then took out a pencil gave him, cheerful and decent: "Do you have to come to school every day?"
This plan I fantasy too many times, but not enough time to implement, art students Zhuangmu suddenly disappeared. Who did not know what he was going. I was very melancholy, and even cranky he is not feeling I like him, so deliberately hide not see me. The day when I went to his table and chairs, the stool is the school
warehouse out of the old stuff, a slight action sound to earth-shattering. I put my stool quietly for him, and a bit frantically want to buy a keg of blue acrylic paint to help him impress the old mottled desk. I have never thought of a good person, just for him, and even forgot to care about the response.
When the banker came back again, my bag zipper had rubbed the pencil's orange pen with a shallow paint line.
In the messy class, I handed the paint pencil to the banker. I was so afraid that he was unpredictable to disappear again, half dozen pencil became a gift for the whole gift, with a warm slightly acidic girl mind, rush and solemnly sent out. Previewed thousands of times a word can not tell, I hold the pencil hand quietly hanging in the air, the hearts of roundabout without reason sad, very dramatic red eyes.
This should be even if the confession, right?
The banker took the pencil as quiet as he had always been.
The next day class, I found my stool was changed back, the table stood a simple smile smiling face of the new Qi Shi orange.
Zhuangjia Mu to class when we will get out of school together, choose a more distant road, go very slowly. Sometimes I would say a lot of words, it seems only to fill the banker Mu do not speak when the idle time down Sometimes I will be very silent, shame to reflect on the day before their own chatter.
Zhuangjia Mu said: "Li Xi En, you live this very vibrant thing.
"Yes ah, I love life! But the housekeeper, how do you always hang my eyes?"
"I'm not interested in this world." Nothing is worthy of my concern.
I am sorry for this sentence for a while, but also self-healing. It is really a confused day, I like the banker, no reason, no rules, there is no hope. Do you like me? I do not know. Those fancy Phnom Penh faint evening, we just aimlessly together, all the way kicked the stones.
At the end of the college entrance examination, I was admitted to a normal university in the north. Zhuangjia Mu art professional class passed, but because the culture class too bad to study in school.
I bought the school from the school to draw a new pattern of drawing pencils at the school gate and so on, his doll-like eyelashes happy to raise up, tall and big
man in the sunset smile reddish face. Zhuangjia Mu took the pencil, pulled my hand, his hand wide and cool, fingers clean. Passing by the boys blame the whistle, I walk some of the erratic, rising heart from the countless sweet and happy bubbles.
But it was not long before the resumption of the banker's mood repeatedly badly, the phone began to say some very extreme discouraged words. Homework can not make up, no future, no tomorrow, whether he, or us.
I try to understand him, but still be secretly scratched by these words, a long time, no matter how strong healing ability has been confused by the new small wound tired. And then hang up the phone, I admit that I am a bit tired, but not desperate.
I need to see the banker.
In order to accumulate travel expenses, I do two part-time, but also began to organize high school notes to the banker. For the first time in this life love, I tried to make every effort.
But the dealer and suddenly disappeared. The beep of the phone at the end of the phone makes the connection between us seem so fragile, a lot of writing makes my middle finger painful thin cocoon. I looked at the table east to run the West to
find the strange pencil, the first time to see their own from the beginning to the end of the wishful thinking, but also for the first time to understand the love, I can not do the response to pay.
Finally found him, he was very irritable. In the school with people fighting, was stopped for 3 weeks of class, his father shut him in the room not allowed to answer the phone, his mood to the extreme. All this he was righteous, as if all could be guilty of others. I have finally shouted at the end of the phone: "Do you want to fight? Do not you promise me to work hard? Do you care about me? We do not have tomorrow. We have nothing!"
Yes, I just like a boy, I do not know the sky so that their love can be great selfless to melt everything. The back of the love so much unexpected thorns, I heartbreaking defeated.
The people in the world are having trouble pushing it to the time, and I learned. Time is the most invincible, love and hate, predecessors later, how unforgettable in front of time are just looking back when the light dust. What about my first little love?
When I graduated, I grew taller by one centimeter and found a nice job.
Department of male colleagues moved to dinner, the walls covered with his various stages of the photo, so irrelevant moment, I suddenly saw the banker harmony. In 1997, Zhuangjia Mu standing in the junior high school graduates, smiling sunny. My heart was so earth - shattering, but if nothing had happened: "Where is this man now? The former dorm has a girl with him very familiar.
My friends are not lucky, had a very lively boy, parents divorced after the change of the individual. High school turned away, I heard there to pay A girlfriend, with me when a secret like not willing to say, and later because the girl played a result of the girl also dumped him.He test 3 college entrance examination, and later went to the specialist. Sensitive and proud, feel that they can not test a good school, not worthy of the girl, and now the family moved, completely no news.
"Fight for that girl?"
"Yes ah, some people say that his girlfriend to take the initiative to chase him, take the initiative to send the door is certainly not a good girl, he rushed to the people played a meal, but also refused to review .I was advised him, he said that the world he Care about the people not much, who can not hurt him care about the people ... ... "
I rushed out the door to a taxi, while running tears rolled down.
Where am I going? Do you want to go and where to get back to you? At the age of 17, I really do not know anything about love. I am passionate and flustered in their own "selfless fearless" posture, but did not really understand you, how do you think you have experienced what you take the heart to care about me.
Those years of the evening Ambilight, we all the way aimlessly kicked the stone, did not learn to properly express what, do not know how to look back in the past, do not know how to face the future. We are relatively smiling, holding hands to think that the completion of all the long days long.
17岁的时候，班级里转来一个美术生。
开学那天，老师领他来报到，他很勉强地垂了眼睛站在讲台上，惜字如金地自我介绍：我叫庄家睦。我看见美术生的长睫毛优美骄傲的弧线，心里像有瓶苏打汽水开了盖，不停翻腾着细微踊跃的泡沫。男生怎么可以有那样洋娃娃的睫毛？真是没道理。
美术生走在淡淡金色的黄昏 美术生又高又大，爱穿松松垮垮的白色球衫，坐在教室最后一排的角落，不声不响。他不用上数学课，因为高考免考，事实上所有科目他都很少来上，基本属于放牧型读书。每当他垂着有些倨傲的长睫毛，长腿阔步地经过我的课桌，便会洒下一路哗啦哗啦的声响。1，2，3，4，我常常这样默数，数到6的时候，哗啦声停止，然后桌椅板凳发出巨大声响——美术生抵达了座位。
有美术生在场的课堂，我的后背异常紧张与敏感。我总忍不住佯装若无其事地扭头飞快瞥上一眼，却不总能成功侦测到他的动态。这一路实在是漫长遥远，障碍多多。
有次课间我帮英文老师分发考卷，看见他的试卷，分数一塌糊涂，庄家睦3个字倒写得异常潇洒俊逸。他不在座位，我在那里慢吞吞地磨蹭，课桌上有只印着变形金刚的红色铁皮文具盒，拿起来出乎意料地有熟悉的哗啦声响，忍不住打开来看：整整一盒削好了的绘图铅笔！我莫名其妙地兴奋起来，仿佛知道了一个不为人知的巨大秘密。
是的，我喜欢上了美术生，并且一点儿没想隐瞒，哪怕是在风声鹤唳的17岁。
我去美术用品店买了半打进口的绘图铅笔，放在书包侧袋，每天都幻想着在某个地方与美术生不期而遇，然后拿出铅笔送给他，欢快又得体地说：“庄家睦，我是黎熹恩。你可不可以每天都来上课？”
这个计划我幻想过太多次，然而还没来得及实施，美术生庄家睦就突然消失了。谁也不知道他干什么去了。我一度很惆怅，甚至胡思乱想他是不是感觉到我喜欢他，所以故意躲起来不见我。值日的时候我去擦他的桌椅，那张凳子是学校仓库拖出来的陈年旧物，轻微动作声响就惊天动地。我把自己的凳子悄悄换给了他，并有点儿疯狂地想买一小桶蓝色亚克力颜料帮他把陈旧斑驳的课桌粉刷一新。我从未这样想着对一个人好，就只是对他好，甚至都忘记了在乎一下回应。
庄家睦再次出现的时候，我的书包拉链已经把铅笔的橘色笔杆蹭脱了一条浅浅的
漆线。
乱糟糟的课间，我把脱了漆的铅笔递给庄家睦。我那样生怕着他再次不可预料地消失，半打铅笔成了一个委曲求全的礼物，连带着热烈微酸的少女心意，仓促又隆重地倾囊送出。预演过千百次的对白一个字也说不出来，我握着铅笔的手安静地悬在半空，心中回旋着没有道理的伤心，非常戏剧化地红了眼睛。
这应该就算是了不得的表白了吧？
庄家睦接过铅笔，像他一贯那样不声不响。
第二天上课，我发现我的凳子被换了回来，桌肚里放着一个画着简笔笑脸的新奇士橙。
庄家睦来上课的时候我们会放学一起走上一段，选择一条比较远的路，走得很慢。有时我会说很多话，似乎只是为了填充庄家睦不说话时空闲下来的光阴。有时我又会很沉默，羞愧地反省前一日自己的喋喋不休。
庄家睦说：“黎熹恩，你这个人活得很生机勃勃嘛。”
“是啊，我热爱生活! 可是庄家睦，你怎么总是垂着眼睛没精打采的呢？”
白衣少年回答得云淡风轻：“我对这个世界没兴趣啊。没什么值得我关心的。”
我为着这句话隐秘地难过了一阵，又无药自愈了。那真是一段稀里糊涂的日子，我喜欢着庄家睦，没有道理，没有章法，也没有指望。庄家睦喜欢我吗？我不知道。那些镶了金边的淡淡黄昏，我们只是漫无目的地在一起，一路踢着石子。
高考结束，我被北方一所师范大学录取。庄家睦美术专业课通过了，却因为文化课太糟不得不留校复读。
我从上学的城市买来新奇图案的绘图铅笔在校门口等庄家睦，他洋娃娃般的睫毛高兴地扬起来，高高大大一个人在夕阳下笑得微红了脸。庄家睦接过铅笔，拉住我的手，他的手宽大清凉，手指干干净净。身边路过的男生怪叫着吹口哨，我走路都有些飘忽，心里升腾起无数甜蜜幸福的气泡。
可是没多久，复课的庄家睦情绪反复得厉害，电话里开始说一些非常偏激泄气的话。功课补不起来，没有将来，没有明天，无论是他，还是我们。
我尽量体谅他，可还是会被这些话秘密地划伤，时日长久，再怎样强盛的愈合能力也被新陈叠加的小伤口弄得筋疲力尽。再挂掉电话的时候，我承认我有点儿累了，却还没有绝望。
我需要见到庄家睦。
为了积攒路费，我做两份兼职，还开始整理高中各科笔记给庄家睦。为了这份人生中第一次的爱，我拼尽了全力。
可是庄家睦又突然消失了。电话那头空洞的嘟嘟声让我们之间的联系显得那么脆弱，大量的书写使我的中指起了疼痛的薄茧。我望着桌上东跑西颠搜罗来的稀奇铅笔，第一次看清楚自己从头到尾的一厢情愿，也第一次明白对于爱情，我做不到不计回应的付出。
终于找到他，他却很暴躁。在学校跟人打架，被停了3周的课，他爸爸把他关在房间里不许接电话，他心情糟到极点。这一切他说得理直气壮，好像全都可归罪他人。我在电话这端终于嚷了起来：“庄家睦你为什么要打架？你不是答应我好好用功？你在乎过我吗？我们确实没有明天。我们什么都没有了！”
是的，我只是喜欢一个男生，就不知天高地厚以为自己的爱可以伟大无私到融化一切。爱的背面那么多始料未及的荆棘，我心碎地败下阵来。
这世界上的人们遇到什么难事都把它推给时间，我也学会了。时间最是无敌，爱恨情仇，前生后世，怎样的刻骨铭心在时间面前都只是回首时的清淡尘烟。何况我初次的小小爱情呢。
毕业的时候，我长高了一厘米，还找到一份不错的工作。
部门里有男同事搬家搞聚餐，墙壁上贴满了他各个阶段的照片，这么不相干的时刻，我突然看见了庄家睦。1997年，庄家睦站在初中毕业的少年里，笑得阳光灿烂。我心跳得惊天动地，却若无其事地问：“这个人现在在哪儿? 从前宿舍有女孩跟他很熟。”
同事酒意正酣：“庄家睦啊！我们两家以前是邻居。他这人挺不走运的，本来挺活泼的一男孩，父母离婚后变了个人。高二时转走了，听说在那里交了个女朋友，跟我还当个秘密似的不舍得说，后来因为那女孩打了一架，结果女孩也把他甩了。他考了3次高考，后来去上了专科。这个人一直敏感又骄傲，觉得自己考不了好的学校，配不上那女孩。现在家搬了，彻底没了消息。”
“为那女孩打架？”
“是啊，有人说他女朋友主动追他，主动送上门的肯定不是什么好女孩，他就冲上去把人打了一顿，还拒不检讨。我当时劝他，他说这个世界上他在乎的人不多，谁也不能伤害他在乎的人……”
我冲出门去打车，边跑眼泪边滚落下来。
我要去哪里？庄家睦，我要去往哪里找回你？在17岁，对于爱情我真的一无所知。我热情又慌张地执着于自己“无私无畏”的姿态，却不曾真正去了解过你，你怎样想，你经历了些什么，你拿怎样的心来在乎我。
那些年的黄昏流光溢彩，我们一路漫无目的地踢着石子，没学会恰当地表达什么，不懂得回头看看过去，也不知道该如何面对将来。我们相对笑一笑，牵牵手就以为完成了所有的地久天长。